Large Fierce Mammal

Gonads and Strife

By LFM

Much is said of sex and love,
And conduct when push comes to shove,
So differences between the two
May be confused by some of you.

First to know’s about the heart,
And get this straight right from the start,
Grown girl to woman, boy to man,
If you can’t love you, no one can.

You’ll come to know life isn’t fair
For neckbeard boys with pubic hair,
Who rail for things they’ll never get,
From safe in mother’s oubliette.

While strutting cocks of self-renown
Wag tongues unschooled in going down,
Some others dye their hair bright hues
And argue over sharing loos.

And now it’s not an act of birth
That brings a woman to the Earth.
But something else of seeming magic,
With smoke and mirrors strange and tragic.

But rampant cocks are easy finds,
And spread legs not the rarest kinds,
Both gifts of Nature worth their study
Ere waters change to clear from muddy.

And crystal pools are heady drink
For those inclined to overthink.
No matter though, they her or he,
Lug A will ever seek slot B.

Image Credit: Hyperbole and a Half

“… Human habitations are not an environment apart – they are filters, carefully engineered  to ensure that, insofar as possible, the species that built them can limit access to animals of its own kind or those of other kinds it has invited to be there, and to plants that it wishes to grow there. Humans are not alone in this behaviour – Ants, Bees, and other social insects have them too.

“But we Humans are not insects, so let’s confine our thinking to the filters that Man builds. Ask the microscopic creatures that live, die, mate, eat and are eaten, in their multitudes, generation after generation between a half millimeter by twenty centimeter crack under your kitchen floor boards how perfect and impermeable that filter is. The Moulds and Mildews that make their presence known whenever circumstances permit. The Silverfish that haunt your plumbing and bookshelves, the carpet beetle under your baseboards, and the Pseudoscorpion that hunts them. The Spiders, Woodlice, Centipedes, and Millipedes that lurk in every dark basement corner – all doing their jobs as Nature intended them to do, within the ecosystem you call your dwelling, and that you share with them.” ~ Worldly Wisdom Wednesday – That First Step on The Path

Tonight’s Dark Sentiment, Splat, is a short (2 minutes and 45 seconds) horror film by Social House Films, “… an independent production studio operated by Aaron Fradkin and Victoria Fratz, focusing on original feature films, short films, & music videos.“ Not only did it bring to mind my words from the summer of 2012 as aforesaid, but also this ditty from Dark Sentiments Season 10 — Day 23: Dead Spider Serenade (click the link to read the lyrics, the play button below to suffer through hearing me sing it): (more…)

The “ABOUT” portion of the Grim Hustle YouTube channel says, “We are building a crime based cinematic universe.”

Whatever they’re doing, I thoroughly enjoy everything about their short motivational films featuring wisdom and life advice from such worthies as “Russian Mafia Boss” and “our Ukrainian brother Roman, a.k.a. Kulak”. (more…)

Is this where you’re headed?

What does comfort mean to you? Never having to worry about money? A warm safe place to sleep? Somebody to look after you should you become sick or injured? A bed that’s not too soft, not too hard, but just right? What about the median thermal content of the porridge?

Those are all very comforting things but they share a vulnerability in common — each comes from external sources and consist of subjectively visualized ideals with no universality of definition. You can’t order them like pizza, and even if you could, as with wishes from the denizens of lamps, what you get won’t likely match expectations.

“Everything I spoke to there was about position which is the state you’ll be in when something happens that affects you, and this can be anything from life threatening; lost in a blizzard for example; to delightful; as in that first date with the one of your dreams. Career changing, perhaps in the form of a promotion bringing with it a raise in salary but with the requirement to relocate to another province or state; perhaps another country.

“The question is, put to the test and on demand, what can you bring to the party, and will it be the best of yourself?

“From these examples you can see that position can affect opportunity, but in the gravest extreme — the life threatening example — the question can be posed in the form of an unexpected pop quiz where wrong is the same as dead.” ~ A Long Winter’s Night — 2020 Edition Day 2: Position

Position can be born into. It can also be affected by dumb luck, but is most often an outcome of habits.

When it comes to real, durable comfort, let’s not forget the ultimate yardstick — what’s your level of tolerance for DIScomfort? (more…)

“You’ve all probably noticed that there’s been a lot of talk about “climate change” in this year just winding down. If you missed it, or caught some of it but not enough to get the gist, essentially it appears “the world is coming to an end” again.

“This isn’t one of those bang and it’s over ends of the world like the Cold War going hot into nuclear Armageddon, the Y2K lights out as the last seconds of 1999 rolled into the first few of 2000, or the Mayan calendar running out in December 2012. This is one where even the Great Unwashed are not only blaming “Them” for the problem, but now demand “They” fix it. Or we’re all dead. Real soon.

“I don’t know a darker Dark Sentiment than an Armageddon that keeps getting offered up with all the reliability of an election year promise, and it sure is fun to watch. To draw a metaphor from porn, it resembles “edging” (look it up) leading to a “ruined orgasm” (look that one up too).

“Before the full on tearing of hair and rending of garments gets too noisy, none of this is to imply that these ecological concerns aren’t worthy of concern and intense scrutiny, and you’ll know that, if you spend enough time here.” ~ Dark Sentiments Season 10 — Day 7: You Wouldn’t Know the End of the World if it Bit You in the Ass

If anything can be done about what currently ails humanity, or what ails the planet because of humanity, it won’t ever be settled by politicians repeating the same behaviours while promising different outcomes. No world summits, overblown promises, hand wringing or pearl clutching will change that, and if that’s the only solution you can offer, give it up now as a lost cause. We’ll get back to this topic on some future nights, but meanwhile there’s this.

A Song of Destiny

By LFM

You Humans astound me,
I watch you around me,
And see how you weaken your herd.
Top rung on my ladder?
I think nothing’s sadder.
Extinction is merely deferred.

Your needs won’t be sated,
Your growth unabated,
This concern for “the climate’s” a lie.
And the hymns that you sing
Won’t be changing a thing,
Best to cease with pretending to try.

You “follow the science”
In blatant defiance
Of Truths that your ancestors knew.
The tool of my wrath is a beast on your path,
And it’s looking for something to chew.

It cares not who you name,
Or what “others” you blame,
Just as Asians don’t all taste alike.
While hell bent on winning, all your factions are sinning,
And the prize is your head on a spike.

Don’t mistake that your sinner
Of choice is for dinner,
And things will be sorted by race.
You’re as loose balls of yarn,
Or the rats in the barn
And the Cat wants for something to chase.

Muslim, Christian, or Jew,
All the lobbyists too,
Face a consummate Hunter and Trapper.
The things that would skin you to get to what’s in you
Care nought for the hue of the wrapper.

Courtesy: Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment

Tonight’s Dark Sentimental ditty is inspired by some of the many wise words I’ve been privileged to hear spoken by my Esteemed Friend and Master At Arms James A. Keating, most particularly on the subject of charm schools.

A Classic Sort of Gentleman

(Based upon The Major-General’s Song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s 1879 comic opera The Pirates of Penzance)

By LFM

I am the very model of a Classic sort of Gentleman,
I go about my business as a proper elementalman,
No temperament pugnatious is the secret to my happiness,
Nor bearing of a visage marked by scars and dental gappiness.

While others bear the consequence of lifelong bad reality,
With offerings of bullets, blades, and fists for triviality,
My skills defuse the querulous eschewing of the garrulous
In situations needful of containment of the perilous.

I’m very good at knowing when to joke or to commiserate,
Negotiate or at my sole discretion to eviscerate,
And as befits the essence of a proper elementalman,
I am the very model of a classic sort of Gentleman.

CHORUS:
As befits the essence of a proper elementalman,
He is the very model of a Classic sort of Gentleman.

I am adept to socialize where manners wax invisible,
And compliments are couched in terms like, “Bro your ho is jizzable,”
I choose to judge temerity in light of its sincerity,
And act upon its offering as inroad to barbarity.

And though I may be taken as a fountain of veracity,
Masculine personified and absent all mendacity,
Unevocative of chastity, and absent all hubrisity,
I’m known to be a causitive of feminine lubricity.

Both a Lover and a Fighter keeping neither humour in disguise,
Rough correcting provocations that resist correction otherwise,
And as befits the essence of a proper elementalman,
I am the very model of a classic sort of Gentleman.

CHORUS:
As befits the essence of a proper elementalman,
He is the very model of a Classic sort of Gentleman.

Choral Sex
(An irreverently offensive ditty)

By LFM

The parish priest in Port LeHoon
Was sent away to face the tune.
He’s now behind strong prison locks
For methods most unorthodox.

What caused the stir that did him in
Was how his flock confessed their sin.
At center of the sordid story
We’ll find a door to holy glory.

The parish church confessional
In craft was most professional,
The parish pride from side to side,
‘Til father had it modified.

There’s still the customary hole
For priestly grant of God’s parole,
But looking nearer to the floor
There meets the eye another door.

So one by one the sinners came
And left absolved of every blame,
Wiped clean of stain from Earthly sins,
As God’s forgiveness from their chins.

No Marys hailed nor holy bummer,
Instead a penitential hummer,
Just throat a hymn on knees aflex,
And praise the Lord by choral sex.

Source: Drag Queen Story Hour

If you’ve been paying attention, use the public library, or have children in school, you will have somewhere, somehow, heard of Drag Queen Story Hour.

“It’s just what it sounds like! Storytellers using the art of drag to read books to kids in libraries, schools, and bookstores.

“DQSH captures the imagination and play of the gender fluidity of childhood and gives kids glamorous, positive, and unabashedly queer role models.

“In spaces like this, kids are able to see people who defy rigid gender restrictions and imagine a world where everyone can be their authentic selves!”

I personally have more than a few issues with adults openly trotting out the props and trappings of their sexuality before audiences of minors in the name of education and authenticity, and overall believe this to be an exceptionally bad idea.

The seeds of what floats your boat sexually in adulthood were commonly sown in childhood, and a lot of kids grow up in an environment of ignorance and opportunism where the gnawing drives of puberty can’t be healthily addressed. Many get their sexual education from among the ranks of their peers. For those who grow to be “well adjusted” adults (whatever that means), what gets them off reliably will be the outcome of finding their way to outlets that aren’t specifically named in the Criminal Code. (more…)

Source: Frasse Films

Call it the Rapture.

The Great Tribulation.

The culmination of the End Times.

The Final Conniption.

Judgement Day.

For when the Christian God calls His faithful home and Jesus comes again, believers of assorted stripes share some variant of one of these moments of truth. No more one sinner at a time, take a number, stand on the trap door in front of Saint Peter (or en masse in front of some lesser official), and face the music for everything you’ve ever done. This is IT. The great sorting day is NIGH! (more…)

Who among us hasn’t heard, diplomatically thought, or outright spoken some iteration of, “Do you have a point to make or are you just talking out your ass?”

Spoiler alert: It will happen again, but not because of today’s revelations on the historical genre of demonically inspired ass music.

This age postures in its conceit as some sort of modern enlightenment, self-empowered to root out and punish the sins of currently unpopular ancestors in accordance with present day criminal codes, all within the lifetimes of its frenzied acolytes, by hook, crook, force, redefinition, and change of nomenclature as the ends may be deemed by the faithful as justification of the means. In this, much has been temporarily misplaced in the clamour.

There was a time in history when Facts were understood as those unassailably objective and Natural connections between cause and effect — do this, expect that; don’t do this and suffer the consequences — and from Facts spring Truth, and they are eternal. Of all things in Nature, only Humans persist in structuring their societies and social interactions as though Nature missed something only they can provide. From this, we get the smugly fast talking, scream downing, bullying, self-anointed winner of the popularity contest — truth — that impossible to pin down, fence sitting, wishy washy, constantly moving target homonym pretender to the Title.

You see, unlike Truth, which has been and will be around forever, truth has only existed as long as Humans, and as such is known by people who stick to the Facts as something invented and imposed by people with power to fuck with your very life that you are obliged to make a credible pretense of believing on pain of ridicule, loss of social position, ostracism, excommunication, imprisonment, torture, and/or death, depending on what’s in vogue. This may affect how you express yourself in public, but not when nobody’s looking, and even when someone is, much can be achieved by the bastard child of camouflage and sleight of hand. And that’s the Truth. Right up until the masks come off and the blades come out, and all we’re dealing with are Facts. (more…)