What’s Worse Than Finding a Blue Jay in Your Car?

| September 26, 2008

Everybody’s heard this riddle Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm. Many years ago I was driving through the Annapolis Valley on a beautiful late summer day. In the car with me were my ex- wife (front passenger seat), her mother (rear right seat), and her mother’s […]

Nevermore! What WAS in your wallet?

| September 25, 2008

You never know who’s watching. Readers please note that, while certainly not innocent, the raven in this picture was in no way implicated in the sordid tale that follows. One day in the summer of 2000, while I was on duty working police/fire dispatch in Lunenburg, I received a call from a tourist who was […]

Don’t Ever Change

| September 24, 2008

About 15 years ago, one of my medical alarm clients dropped her panic button in her toilet. She fished it out right away, but in trying to wash it off, water penetrated the casing and caused an alarm. After the dust settled, and she told me what had happened, I went to her residence to […]

Forget Me Not

| September 17, 2008

The family doctor I had known since my junior high school days retired in 2001, and even though I am no longer a patient of his he is still a client of mine. He recently phoned me with a question about his security system that I handled in my usual highly efficient and professional manner. […]

Interpreting Sexual Body Language

| September 12, 2008

I recently came across an advice article entitled “Everyone wants to know how to read the sexual body language.” You can read the entire article here. After reading it twice and letting the laughter subside, I felt compelled, as your security and survival professional, to comment on its contents. For clarity, I am quoting items […]

Something Good Actually Happened on September 11th

| September 11, 2008

Today Diana and I celebrate our anniversary so I’m directing all my creative efforts in her direction. Tomorrow we’ll return to normal programming. Enjoy what’s left of the day.

It Turns Out There’s NOTHING You Can’t Come Back From

| September 10, 2008

Yes, that’s Sean Connery. There has been no Photo-Shopping of any kind on my end, and if Diana had done it he’d be naked so I’d say no. No Photo-Shopping of any kind. In 1974, Sir Sean Connery was in an incredibly shitty movie (“starred in” would be a bit extreme) called “Zardoz”. This post […]

Strange Lyrics From Rural Nova Scotia

| September 9, 2008

Rural Nova Scotia has spawned some strange ditties. One of the summer jobs I had while attending university was as night watchman at what was then called the “Adult Residential Centre” at Dayspring, Lunenburg County. A vast and rambling structure known locally as “the poor farm”, the ARC dated from darker times when the mentally […]

Favourite Quotations

| September 8, 2008

For your edification dear readers, this is a selection of words of wisdom, presented in no particular order, that have stuck to me along the way. No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. ~ Zen saying If your anger goes forth, withhold your sword; If your sword goes forth, withhold your anger. ~ swordsman’s […]

Musings as Hallowe’en Approaches – Part the Second

| September 7, 2008

In 1984 I moved into a large house on Lincoln Street in Lunenburg. The layout of the stairway to the second floor prevented me from taking my bedframe up to the master bedroom, so I had to sleep on the mattress on the floor as a stopgap measure. On the first night I slept in […]