When Booty Calls …

| April 28, 2024

This year’s iteration of my natal day, being the annual observance of delight for those who wish me well, and disappointment for those who don’t, fell as always, coincident with St. George’s Day. The tableau above consists of representative physical manifestations of the former. Clockwise from top left: The latest from my Esteemed Friend Stephen […]

Weihnachtsjäger School of Charm — A Sweet Diversion

| February 4, 2024

As I write, we are in the midst of a predicted three day fall of light, drifting snow creating conditions ideal for living exclusively off the avails of Hearth and Home. Never one to regard an equine endowment in the dentition, the exquisite Mrs. LFM (a sweet diversion in her own right) looked out upon […]

A Long Winter’s Night — 2023 Edition, Day 4

| December 24, 2023

Frohe Weihnachten! From the House of LFM On this clear Yuletide eve May your plans be well laid, As was my Fine Wyfe — See these things that we made! Sons One, Two, and Three, With their Dad and fair Mum, Wish you all a fine night, Don’t do anything dumb!

Dark Sentiments Season 14 — Day 22: A Little More Death I Think

| October 22, 2023

“There comes a time in the life of every child when the realization arrives that people and animals die, and nothing you feel, say, or do will change it. “Your Parents will die. “Every grownup who matters to you will die. “Your most beloved pets will die. “Everyone you know will die. “You will die. […]

The Sixth Year of Maksim

| May 23, 2023

Six years ago today, Maksim Cezary Whynacht presented all 8 pounds and 1 ounce of himself fit for duty as third in line to the Chieftainship of Clan LFM. Time does not permit utterance of the creative outburst such an occasion inspires but until that gets unleashed upon the world, today’s pictorial essay will have […]

A Long Winter’s Night — 2022 Edition, Day 5

| December 25, 2022

Here at the LFM household, Christmas Day 2022 has spiraled in a whirlwind of delights to a delicious and fragrant crescendo, leaving all concerned teetering on the brink of Glazed Ham fueled oblivion. The best of all this season has to offer to you and yours from the House of LFM, and please accept this […]

Dark Sentiments Season 13 — Day 6: A Classic Sort of Gentleman

| October 6, 2022

Tonight’s Dark Sentimental ditty is inspired by some of the many wise words I’ve been privileged to hear spoken by my Esteemed Friend and Master At Arms James A. Keating, most particularly on the subject of charm schools. A Classic Sort of Gentleman (Based upon The Major-General’s Song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s 1879 comic opera […]

Fried Chicken and Potato Salad — Chicken Worth a Song!

| March 27, 2022

“The title of today’s offering refers to the signature dish common to meals served here when subjects of a certain gravity are up for discussion. Prepared as only Mrs. LFM can from exclusively dark meat, and set before the invited few in a spirit not unlike the peaches doled out at town meetings hosted by […]

Fried Chicken and Potato Salad — A Welcoming Word From Your Host

| March 12, 2022

The title of today’s offering refers to the signature dish common to meals served here when subjects of a certain gravity are up for discussion. Prepared as only Mrs. LFM can from exclusively dark meat, and set before the invited few in a spirit not unlike the peaches doled out at town meetings hosted by […]

No More Phoning the Czar Until Further Notice

| March 2, 2022

Pursuant to the shenanigans and goings on in eastern Europe, effective immediately and until further notice, the Management will discontinue use of the well worn term “phoning the czar” as a euphemism for masturbation, as well as for all purposes up to and including actually phoning anyone bearing, or laying claim to, that epithet.