The Sixth Year of Maksim

| May 23, 2023

Six years ago today, Maksim Cezary Whynacht presented all 8 pounds and 1 ounce of himself fit for duty as third in line to the Chieftainship of Clan LFM. Time does not permit utterance of the creative outburst such an occasion inspires but until that gets unleashed upon the world, today’s pictorial essay will have […]

Don’t Judge the World By Your Own Shitty Standards

| May 21, 2023

Our title today is drawn from the oft spoken (and not without more than ample provocation) sage words of my Esteemed Friend James Keating. Their application should be obvious as you read on. This poem was placed in my head a couple days ago by two Crows acting on behalf of whatever Force of Nature […]

In Recognition of Most Excellent Service!

| May 14, 2023

If you have learned anything about us by now, it should be obvious that Mrs. LFM and I are very Old School. Notwithstanding what Tools and technologies we may choose to enable us in a task, First Principles will be the guiding influence in their application. Another guiding principle seeing heavy use around this Household […]

A Long Winter’s Night — 2022 Edition, Day 5

| December 25, 2022

Here at the LFM household, Christmas Day 2022 has spiraled in a whirlwind of delights to a delicious and fragrant crescendo, leaving all concerned teetering on the brink of Glazed Ham fueled oblivion. The best of all this season has to offer to you and yours from the House of LFM, and please accept this […]

Dark Sentiments Season 13 — Day 6: A Classic Sort of Gentleman

| October 6, 2022

Tonight’s Dark Sentimental ditty is inspired by some of the many wise words I’ve been privileged to hear spoken by my Esteemed Friend and Master At Arms James A. Keating, most particularly on the subject of charm schools. A Classic Sort of Gentleman (Based upon The Major-General’s Song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s 1879 comic opera […]

Milo — Last of the Old Pack

| August 31, 2022

Mrs. LFM and I first met Milo at the SHAID (Shelter for Helpless Animals In Distress) Animal Shelter in February 2007 where even before being taken in to see him I was specifically told straight away at index finger point that, “He won’t like you,” the implication being he harboured an ingrained dislike of men. […]

Fried Chicken and Potato Salad — Chicken Worth a Song!

| March 27, 2022

“The title of today’s offering refers to the signature dish common to meals served here when subjects of a certain gravity are up for discussion. Prepared as only Mrs. LFM can from exclusively dark meat, and set before the invited few in a spirit not unlike the peaches doled out at town meetings hosted by […]

Fried Chicken and Potato Salad — A Welcoming Word From Your Host

| March 12, 2022

The title of today’s offering refers to the signature dish common to meals served here when subjects of a certain gravity are up for discussion. Prepared as only Mrs. LFM can from exclusively dark meat, and set before the invited few in a spirit not unlike the peaches doled out at town meetings hosted by […]

Same House, More Windows

| April 4, 2021

I once watched a standup comedian talking about some bad advice given to him while he was growing up. He said he was warned that you always have to watch “the quiet ones”, and even at a young age that didn’t sit well with him. He wondered, while you’re busy watching the quiet ones, what’s […]

Pro Tip: A New Year is Not a Chance for a Fresh Start

| January 1, 2021

If I were to sum up application of my billable skills in one easy to digest term, it would be “professional troubleshooter”. In general, this means Mrs. LFM and I solve the problems of other people for a living. What typically motivates someone to pick up their phone and dial us, or equally as common […]