Bitey | August 20, 2016
“Long heralded and now about to become reality, let this stand as official announcement of a new and semi-irregular LFM feature – Al Dente – With Bitey McBighterson! Beginning Saturday, 30 March 2013 and appearing whenever he gives a shit, Bitey will give you his unbridled, well gnawed interpretation of current events. After all, what […]
Randy | July 25, 2016
My Mother always admonished me to put on clean underwear every morning because you never know when you’ll encounter a kind offer for sex. Or in case you get in an accident of some other sort. Anyway, that was a long time ago so the actual reason is vague, but the message was conveyed with […]
Randy | July 21, 2016
Mrs. LFM, Bairns, Dogs and I live in an antique farm house the original construction of which predates electricity and indoor plumbing. The wise and hard working crew who threw their blood, sweat, and tears into its building and sustenance dug a well 20 feet deep on the hill overlooking the house, and by their […]
Randy | May 29, 2016
I grew up in the small but (then) prosperous town of Lunenburg, Nova Scotia, in a house across the street from what was generally referred to as “the Minister’s lawn”. A part of the grounds of the Anglican Reverend’s residence, it was a beautifully manicured expanse of table top flatness, and came to be used […]
Randy | May 21, 2016
Everyone now living is the product of tough, and as necessary rough, people, whether your 21st century sensibilities like it or not. Those of my own memory and upbringing were the kind of stoic, hard working, hard swearing, hard drinking, won’t take shit from anybody kind of folks who abounded in those days. It may […]
Randy | April 6, 2016
I write about cannibalism now and then, most commonly revisiting the quaint and rustic social custom in my October annual Dark Sentiments series. As you read what follows, I would remind you that thanks to good old fashioned fairy tales, the subject has already entered the curriculum as taught in our house. SFM #1 went […]
Randy | April 1, 2016
This poem is born of actual events, and is offered with apologies to those hopefuls among the distaff who may have fallen for it in the past, and feel ill done by at its clear exclusivity to the sensibilities of your male counterparts. Please know, you are not forgotten. Apologies too to Groucho Marx whose […]
Randy | February 24, 2016
Operating our security consultancy out of rural Nova Scotia, our average day is best described as what you might get if the logistical and operational realities of All Creatures Great and Small and The Sandbaggers had a kid. In this family business, a gap on one’s dance card doesn’t take long to close, so our […]
Randy | February 15, 2016
The Jian Ghomeshi sexual assault trial awaits its verdict, scheduled for 24 March 2016, and the world of polarized politics driven and abetted by social media can’t understand why all this due process crap should even be allowed to stand in the way of a well deserved lynching. This morning over coffee, I read a […]
Randy | January 23, 2016
If taking away your physical skills means taking away all of your self-defence, you ain’t got shit. You might be a great fighting instructor, but everything you have only works when most good self-defence has already failed. Also, it’s all perishable. It won’t help you if you manage to get old enough, and realize that […]