Large Fierce Mammal

My Mother always admonished me to put on clean underwear every morning because you never know when you’ll encounter a kind offer for sex. Or in case you get in an accident of some other sort. Anyway, that was a long time ago so the actual reason is vague, but the message was conveyed with sufficient clarity for me to continue the practice right up to and including this morning.

I also remember reading a memoir written by an accomplished and highly decorated soldier who served in an airborne regiment. I can’t for the life of me remember his name, and if what I’m about to reveal of him twigs any remembrance on your part, Goode Reader, do please remind me by leaving an enlightening comment.

He compared the way he would prepare for a mission with how he would get ready for a date with his “best girl”. Groomed and fresh smelling. Wearing his best combat uniform, cleaned and pressed. Boots polished and kit above reproach. Blades honed and oiled. Rifle immaculate. You can’t argue with that approach and it never failed him. Maybe you’re going to die today, or maybe you’ll help someone else do it. Either way, and at all points in between where nobody dies, it’s a day you’ll never get again, and that makes it an important day so don’t show up looking like a bum.

Dress and personal style are important to meeting every day with panache. Mrs. LFM is quite aware of my personal colour code and can pick out the hue of underwear I’ll be wearing on any day based solely on the morning’s discussion over coffee.

Dress From the Inside Out

By LFM

Black for facing evil,
Blue for speaking Truth,
Red for those contentious days,
And in the voting booth.

Grey for vague morality,
Both in and out of doors,
My state of mind’s reflected
In the colour of my drawers.