The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Learn…
Guest Post by Mrs. LFM
Posted By Diana on August 10, 2011
… Is just to love and be loved in return…
~Eden Ahbez, Nature Boy
Most of my writing is motivated by spite. Something annoys me and rather than ranting someone’s ear off about it, I’ll either take it to my diary, Facebook or a blog post. I don’t often write when I’m blissfully happy… I stay in the moment and enjoy it.
Today’s post is a bit unique. I’m talking Love, with a capital LUH.
I see far too many couples that are together because they don’t want to be alone. Together because they NEED someone, ANYone in their life. Together until the next “better” option comes along and they upgrade.
Why? Are you afraid of your own company? I would rather be alone than be in a relationship that was less than ideal.
What’s lacking in most of these relationships is R E S P E C T. Truly. So many people whine about not leaving someone because they loooove them. Ok, I can understand that. Sort of. You can’t help who you have feelings for, and what those feelings are. I went through many years of loving my sister but not LIKING her (I do now! xoxoxo). But besides love, for a relationship to be successful and fulfilling, you also need respect. On BOTH sides.
If your spouse/mate/significant other constantly belittles you, insults you, takes you for granted, doesn’t appreciate what you do, NEVER comments on your appearance (unless you never care about your appearance – your fault), never praises any of your accomplishments, is always adversarial just for the sake of being adversarial… well, you have a problem. One that I wouldn’t put up with.
I truly believe that respect is the cornerstone of a great relationship. If you don’t respect your significant other, or they don’t respect you, perhaps it’s time to have a little chat. Or move on and find someone that values you. Now, I’m not here trying to break up relationships. I want people who have been slacking about showing their love and/or appreciation to actually take some time and consider their relationship, and if it’s lacking – make it better before it gets worse!
With that in mind, I want everyone reading this to think about their partner (you singletons are exempt; lucky you 😉 BUT you can always make a list of desirable qualities in a partner!). Think of at least 5 solid, respectful reasons why you’re with them. “Hot”, “good in bed” and the like are not acceptable!
Here are a few of the many, MANY reasons why I LOVE my husband, not in any particular order:
1 – Randy is wonderfully creative. Whether that be in writing, cooking, repaints for aircraft in Flight Simulator, his recent leathercrafting projects (if you haven’t seen his work, check it out here), I’m always proud of his accomplishments. He works hard at his projects and they reflect the sort of person he is.
2 – He’s a gentleman. Always. Takes my coat, opens my doors, knows when to remove his hat, and is always polite. Etiquette is beyond reproach.
3 – I love his analytical mind. Randy has a degree in Applied Physics and a background in electrical components. He often has to put that to use to trouble-shoot issues with security systems and I will admit, it turns me on to see him working those things out.
4 – He has endless compassion for animals in general and dogs in particular. He doesn’t value human life over an animal simply because it’s an “animal”. Some of you will no doubt disagree, but for me, that’s incredibly important. A life is a life and just because sperm and egg came together doesn’t mean fuck-all. It’s about the being, the spirit, the soul in that body, regardless of species.
5 – He could charm the pants off my grandmother. Possibly literally. I love watching his ease and charm with everyone, but seniors in particular. He makes elderly women feel like WOMEN, not old women. Some of them don’t get many opportunities to be flirtatious. They certainly get that opportunity with Randy and I love it!
6 – His sense of humour is unmatched. Not only does he know when to unleash it, but he also knows when to control it. Both are important.
7 – I love his righteous indignation over injustices, whatever they may be. He will fight tooth and nail to right a wrong, or exhaust all avenues in the attempt. Obviously, one has to pick and choose the battles, but if Randy has committed to helping, he’s all in.
8 – He respects nature. Never litters, even picks up cans and bottles we find in the woods. Won’t even step on sphagnum moss because it takes years to grow back.
9 – He’s self-confident. And hand-in-hand with that – not afraid to express appreciation for the physical appearance of a member of the same sex. I love such a healthy attitude.
10 – While not obsessive about it, Randy never says the words – “Meh. That’s good enough”. It will be done WELL or it will not be done at all. Good enough is never good enough. My own personal motto, too!
11 – He cares about his appearance. Especially when we go out on a date (and yes, after almost 10 years together, we do still dress up and go out on dates! If you don’t – why NOT??). I make sure I do him proud when out on his arm. Randy does the same for me. It never goes unnoticed.
12 – He doesn’t need sounds to fill the silence. We can sit happily, quietly, without it being uncomfortable or meaning that there’s something wrong.
I think that’s enough for now. There are many more, but most of them are too private to post here 😯
After you’re done thinking of your own reasons, go and share JUST ONE of them with your partner.
You won’t be sorry.
I will always be proud to be your “… very strange enchanted boy,” Baby. Always and in EVERY way!
Randy ,Diana Whynacht
Your relationship came up in conversation down at the coffee shop , … er rather I brought it( you) up .
There was a discussion about how couples should treat one another . I said first and foremost respect and consideration .The question was then asked of me , Who do I know that does …. Da Dada …. You two came up as the one true example of the reason the world exists !!! I am proud to have known you individually prior to and after that day that was meant to be as Mr.& Mrs. Whynacht . Things do happen for a reason .
Peter
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