LFM on Teaching the Child to Swear Well
Posted By Randy on May 17, 2013
Source: http://bigorangeslide.com/2011/04/profanity-comes-of-age/
Profanity is not a true language, in and of itself. Rather, like a seasoning, it must be infused into language to enhance the message. Wielded well, and with proper timing, it approaches the potency of punctuation in clarifying intention and exorcising ambiguity.
I believe most current Parenting doctrine wrongly eschews the Communicative Art inherent in what is too easily cast aside under the generically derisive reference of “potty mouth”, and then rails as children return from the school yard uttering blistering oaths that are nonsensically ill used. The reason for this phenomenon should be obvious – it is due entirely to the fact that they were learned from contemporaries whose knowledge of the subject matter encompasses nothing beyond that certain words are forbidden to be spoken or written by children. Worse, the phenomenon routinely transcends words and enters the realm of action when parents take a similarly infantile or even nonexistent approach to matters of sexuality, violence, drugs, and alcohol consumption.
Everything worth teaching a child is best approached, first and foremost, by example, and Language, with all its seasonings, is no different. Into this pot must also go such vital ingredients as Manners, Courtesy, Ferocity, Self Respect, Responsibility, Trust Worthiness, Patience, Adventurous Spirit, Decisiveness, and Courage. The difference between making an enemy and recognizing one. What “Commitment” means. The meaning of Love and Lust – how to tell the two apart and the absolute joy that comes of finding one’s self in a situation where the difference doesn’t matter.
By the time a child is old enough to enter Elementary School, he or she needs must be well steeped in the knowledge that some things heard, seen, and done by the Family in the home stay at home.
The real lesson here is that it is perilous being strong in a weak world, but strong you must be, and the learning of this cannot be started too early.
I am so on the same page. I didn’t change my language to accommodate our daughter, but always used “foul” words wisely and when no other word would do to express how I felt about something or someone. We extended the same right to our daughter with the advice that there are social situations where it might be a smarter idea to hold back. However, soap in our home was to wash the outside of the body, not the inside.
We equally educated her about alcohol, smoking, drugs and sex – and the characteristics of safe people and not so nice ones. In addition, we made it very clear that there was absolutely nothing she could not talk to us about.
The result: A now 29-year-old who uses fuck like we do – wisely; a person who doesn’t smoke, drinks wisely and never drives drunk, and who, as a teenager and still, levelheadedly only does stupid stuff when she is amongst familiar and safe people.
I highly recommend it.
You speak of how Diana and I were raised Silvia. You too I expect. An approach that clearly isn’t broken, so there’s no need to fix it. The North American model is currently skewed in the interests of acting as though we live in a world other than the one we actually do.