Large Fierce Mammal

As promised yesterday, here we are for a romp on the dark side. What else is new?

Northern Europe is home to a rich cornucopia of mythology centered around the doings of entities, deities, and personalities that practice their own rituals at this time of the rolling year. Born of harsher times, these are naturally harsh affairs, and not always the kind of things you would like to get mixed up in.

The hoary old folk tales originally loosed upon the world courtesy of the Brothers Grimm were nothing like the cutesy stuff now read in nurseries, something Mrs. LFM touched on in her Dark Sentiments – Day 29 article. Similarly, that jolly old elf modern children know, love, and lay out snacks for on Christmas Eve wasn’t always so lovable. After all, we are known by the company we keep.

What misbehaving children in those good old days had to fear was a lot worse than the idle threat of a lump of coal in their stocking, because St. Nick was only one side of a very nasty equation.

St. Nicholas travelled through the land accompanied by a demonic creature known by a variety of names, but most commonly Krampus. Most often depicted as more than a little Satanic in his appearance, if Krampus punishes your bad behaviour with a lump of coal, it will involve lighting it on fire first and shoving it up your ass. Not diligent in your school work? He’ll drown you in a lake of ink, fish your saturated carcass out with a pitch fork, and fling it into  the deepest pits of Hell. In a world before Young Offenders Acts and restorative justice, Krampus had it covered. Meanwhile, St. Nick was busy rewarding the true believers who really were good all year.

For lighter offenses, Krampus carried an assortment of switches with which to whip the offenders, and a large supply in a wicker basket on his back so breakage at inconvenient moments wouldn’t slow him down. In countries where children put out their shoes instead of stockings for St. Nicholas to bestow with treats, a child might receive a warning from Krampus instead, by way of a stout stick left there to facilitate some parental discipline before he had to come back some future night and take matters into his own claws.

A repository of all things Krampus is the aptly named Krampus.com – Home of the Xmas Devil. The site contains a rollicking good collection of Krampus lore, images of historic greeting cards (presumably for sending to people who needed a warning to pull up their socks), and generally all the ingredients for hours of dark fun for the black of heart.

Krampus is enjoying a resurgence in popularity as the world unearths its dark Yuletide past. Krampusnacht (Krampus night) is once again being celebrated, with participants dressing as devils, demons, wild men, witches, and every other delightful thing normally associated with that other dark time – Hallowe’en. I think it’s time for Mrs. LFM and me to adopt a new tradition.

Krampus – He’ll whip you pious!