Large Fierce Mammal

She taught me the art of conversation. How to listen, and how to appropriately respond. She taught me of social rank, and how one must be deserving of it. Of discretion in all things.

I learned the importance of a cup of tea, and that it must never be refused if matters of any size or urgency are to be discussed. That alcohol is normally reserved for the time when urgency and danger are past, but that it may, on occasion, be called upon to ceremoniously steady the hand. That no Man worthy of the name would go to it as a substitute for courage or moral fortitude.

My Grandmother was of a generation wherein pregnant women were often advised to take a pint of Stout daily as a tonic, and after bearing six children had maintained the practice. Two PM each afternoon was “stout time” and this was taken seated at the window that overlooked the street in front of her flat. When I was visiting, I was invited to join her, and this was a time to learn to sip and converse. As I grew, so too did the size of my glass, and in this I learned not only the give and take of respectful conversation, but the timing of things, and most importantly, how and when to be silent without bringing awkwardness into the room. ~ Wordly Wisdom Wednesday – Education

This week I wish to draw more detailed attention to something I touched on last week, and that appears in the excerpt above – The True Arte of Intelligent Discourse. It isn’t formally taught anymore unless a teacher is intentionally sought, or one is fortunate enough to know a Master from whom one may learn by example. Alas, few people now living even know what it is, let alone how it’s done. Notwithstanding their ignorance of its nature, they know it when they see it, and often find it unsettling – even annoying – when confronted by it because nothing in their experience has prepared them to even stay in the room with it. Sadly, though not surprisingly, this unease is also observed among the teaming throng of the Great Unwashed – the “GU” as I like to call them – in the face of that larger Discipline of which The True Arte of Intelligent Discourse is but a subset – I am speaking, of course, of Manners.

At its foundation, The True Arte of Intelligent Discourse – and let us today, for the sake of brevity, respectfully shorten that and simply refer to it as “The Arte” – is built upon a very few simple and specific rules, listed here in no order of importance for they are all equally so:

1. That no opinion is too lofty to be assailed, nor too base to be brought into the light, although the choice of topic must be intelligently weighed against the time, place, and audience.
2. That words uttered within the context of The Arte must be chosen wisely, for upon that field they carry the same responsibility and invitation of consequence as physical acts.
3. That silence, properly expressed and in proper timing, is itself a statement (see Rule 2).
4. That an argument directed at the words of another is not an attack upon the good character nor the intelligence of that worthy other.
5. That only demonstrable Education, not the mere badges alleging its acquisition, holds meaning to practitioners of The Arte.
6. That unless clearly willful in nature, demonstrated ignorance of facts pertaining to a matter of discussion shall be treated as an oversight, and as such, courteously corrected without ridicule or hint of rebuke. They shall likewise be courteously received and not treated as a slight.
7. That he who demonstrates evidence of willfully flawed thinking, resorts to personal attacks upon those present or otherwise, brings anger to the field, or lays claim to knowledge or standing that cannot be substantiated, disqualifies himself from all trust in the veracity of his words and, shall upon exposure, yield the field lest he be assisted therein, and thereby also yield what remains of his honour.

In this age, many indulge daily in Discourse, Intelligent and otherwise, often and regrettably with others who may be as much as half a world away, and from this has come an equating of distance with safety in ignoring these rules. Yet even as he who hurls taunts at a comely pedestrian from the perceived safety and anonymity afforded by a moving automobile may come to learn, Manners are shed at your peril, for even the best tuned of engines may fail, one can only run so far and so fast, and the world is only so big.

Study and meditate upon today’s lesson Good Reader, and bring what it teaches to all your social intercourse from this day forward.