Large Fierce Mammal

This morning’s news feed contained the last chapter in the life story of Mr. George Looney under the headline “Imperial man shoots himself in the head while teaching firearm safety“. Against the inevitable day when the link to the article evaporates, I’ll quote it below.

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Imperial man shoots himself in the head while teaching firearm safety

04:28 PM CDT on Monday, September 21, 2009

(KMOV)—An Imperial man is dead after accidentally shooting himself in the head while teaching his girlfriend firearm safety.

According to Sheriff Oliver Boyer, deputies responded to 4307 Rock Valley Court in Imperial, Missouri on Friday for an accidental shooting. According to the investigation, 40-years-old James Looney was teaching his girlfriend firearm safety.

According to the witness, Looney would show the different safety mechanisms, put the gun to his head, and ask if the gun would go off. Looney apparently did this with two other weapons and varied safety mechanisms, before the last one went off.

Looney was transported to an area hospital, where he was pronounced dead the next morning.

According to witnesses, Looney was going to take his girlfriend to the shooting range the next day, but insisted on firearm safety the day prior.

Authorities said alcohol was a factor.

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My particular brand of dark humour makes me laugh at lines like, “Looney apparently did this with two other weapons and varied safety mechanisms, before the last one went off.” It was the last one for the same reason things are always in the last place you look.

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I sincerely hope that, unlike the bullet in that last gun, not a single one of Mr. Looney’s sperm cells ever found a target.

In my own teaching of firearms safety, I always give this advice: Never point a gun at anything living that you don’t want to see dead, and anything non-living that you can’t afford to pay for.