Large Fierce Mammal

Red onion & Blueberry Jam on baked Brie, all atop toasted multi-grain baguette. (Mrs. LFM photo)

Getting the most out of life demands an adventurous spirit, decisiveness of action, willingness to experiment, and the ability to recognize the line that marks the place where only stupid lives. This applies to every area of human endeavour, finding its most profound expression in the realms of food, drink, and sex. I’ve said before, and will restate now, that by observing your approach to food and drink, I can divine all I need to know about your skill in the boudoir – and so can your date.

Here’s a recent discovery courtesy of the fall 2012 edition of Inspired magazine. The original recipe with more mouth watering imagery can be found here, but as is usual in our kitchen, and with no disrespect intended to the brilliant creators of this recipe , it was given the full on Mrs. LFM treatment. Presented today for your biting pleasure – Red Onion and Blueberry Jam.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a rainy Sunday, so get out and acquire the ingredients you don’t have on hand, possibly including someone to snuggle up with, pick out a movie, and let Nature take Her course. You must never fight Nature.

First, a word about ingredients. In cooking, it’s generally true that the freshest and best quality ingredients will yield the best results. Nevertheless, there are a few of areas in which you can find wiggle room where geographic location, local availability, season of the year, or the fact that you are an impoverished university student rear their heads in the face of your endeavour. Fear not, don’t be afraid to substitute if necessary, and never falter!

1. This recipe calls for Canola Oil. Fuck that. In the LFM kitchen it’s Olive Oil all the way.
2. Low fat equals low flavour.
3. When a recipe calls for wine, stay out of the “cooking wine” section of your grocery store and go instead to your local booze purveyor. Buy a wine that you will enjoy drinking the rest of, and that you consider affordable. It doesn’t need to be what a wine snob would consider the best and brightest.
4. The current season means that right now we’re blessed with the bounty of Harvest, and so fresh Blueberries abound. Mid-winter though, going with frozen ones, thawed before use, won’t disappoint, and that wonderful flavour can serve up a refreshing antidote to the mid-winter blahs.
5. This recipe calls for 2 tablespoons of fresh chopped Thyme. Certainly go that way if you have it on hand, but substitution of 2 teaspoons of dried Thyme will more than amply get the job done.
6. Likewise, this recipe calls for Cranberry juice – often hard to find in pure form, and unpalatable to many outside its use as an ingredient. You won’t be disappointed if you use a Cranberry juice blend, and by this I do not mean Cranberry “cocktail”.

Now, to the job at hand – Red Onion and Blueberry Jam, LFM style. You will need:

• 2 tbsp (30 ml) Olive oil
• 1 large Red Onion, diced
• 1/4 tsp (1 ml) sea salt (that’s how we roll, but use regular table salt if that’s all you have)
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 1/2 cup (125 ml) dry red wine
• 1/2 cup (125 ml) Cranberry juice
• 1/2 cup (125 ml) liquid Honey
• 1/2 cup (125 ml) Raspberry red wine vinegar (again, that’s how we roll … we had regular red wine vinegar but … no)
• 1 cup (250 ml) Blueberries
• 2 tsp (10 ml) dried Thyme
• 1 tbsp (15 ml) Balsamic vinegar

From here, Mrs. LFM followed the recipe, and so I’ll quote it directly from the original with notations where deemed necessary – timing will vary depending on your cooking equipment and environmental conditions:

In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions, salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until onions soften, 3 to 5 min. Stir in wine, juice, honey and red wine vinegar. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook until almost all liquid evaporates, about 15 min (we found it took about twice that so pay attention to consistency rather than just the time it takes). Reduce heat to low, stir in the blueberries and cook until mixture reaches a jam-like consistency, about 15 min. Transfer to a bowl and stir in thyme and balsamic vinegar. Let cool. Transfer to a resealable container and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.

The magazine touts this jam as excellent for spreading, “… atop baked brie, as part of a meat and cheese plate ….”, and we think they can be taken at their word. For ourselves, Mrs. LFM presents this in the manner that adorns the top of this article. She lays out the bread layer on a cookie sheet, tops it with the Brie, and then lightly toasts it all in the oven until the Brie just begins to melt. By then, the edges of the bread are slightly toasted. She then plates the morsels and adds the jam, being decidedly unstingy in the application of any ingredient.

So check your pantry for anything you don’t have, go and get yourself a baguette to your liking, or failing that, any rustic bread cut to two-bite size and some full bodied; i. e., not low fat Brie. Make sure you’ve got enough wine for two to make it through a movie … and to follow up on whatever comes afterwards … and enjoy.

Mrs. LFM never disappoints; whether in the kitchen, the boudoir, or anywhere in between.