Large Fierce Mammal

Greetings gentle reader! If you’ve made it here to these latest musings without reading Chapter the First and Chapter the Second of this series, I respectfully suggest that you do that before proceeding.

To the left is a photograph that I personally took last week, in the bedroom of an 82 year old woman who lives alone in a very remote corner of Nova Scotia. There are other houses around hers, but they are all occupied by senior citizens with problems of their own. I was there to set up a personal emergency reporting system, and in the process spotted this tableau. In case you need guidance interpreting the image, left to right in the corner are a cane, a baseball bat, and an exceptionally sharp and well maintained machete. Talking to her about it, I learned she has made a decision that would change the world if everyone did the same – she refuses to be a victim, and if she goes down in the face of superior strength or numbers, then she will go down fighting. She won’t give up out of fear of getting hurt or making her attacker angry. The cockles of my black heart still haven’t cooled down.

This brings me to the topic of the day – Respect for Life.The woman I refer to has made a decision that makes her a threat to only one class of being, Human or otherwise – that which would seek to enter her personal space and do her harm. In this, she is showing Respect for Life at its most basic and primal. She is Respecting her own, and in so doing demands that others do the same.

“Do nothing which is of no use.” ~ Miyamoto Musashi

I’ve said many times before that for creatures in Nature, getting through a day is very much an exercise in energy management. Investment measured against return. The Way of the Wild doesn’t hold it up as a good idea to expend valuable energy and expose the self to risk of injury or immediate death by attacking and killing out of such base sentiments as boredom or sheer malice, and defensive measures offered by the presumed “prey” are what hold potential attackers in check. Nothing in Nature meekly submits. It’s flight or fight, all the way!

In Human terms, the offer to a potential attacker of being maimed or killed as the cost of doing harm to one they would have their way with is an enforcement of morality. The moral code of a just and sound society patterned on the immutable laws of Nature. Respect Life, and never take it without sound reason. I spoke at length about this subject with Master At Arms James A. Keating, and today I’ll offer you the insights he brings to teaching his Art of the Blade. (more…)

“When you learn the way of the knife you come into a very real, very deadly set of tools that can quickly dispatch an adversary to the so called promised land. Along with these skills must come a moral and social obligation to use them appropriately (IE: self defense, protection, etc). If such positive values are not instilled early on in the knife man’s basic training then he is not a true knife fighter in the classic sense. He is instead an assassin, a common murderer and that my friends is completely unacceptable.” ~ Master At Arms James A. Keating

There is a component of the population that, due to professional obligations, may be called upon to step in harm’s way at any moment, but most of us go about our lives with no intention or desire to ever do so. Yet the risk exists now, as it always has, of finding yourself in a life or death struggle, either in defence of yourself or of someone else to whom you have a duty and obligation of affording protection even at peril to your own life. When situational awareness and all efforts at avoidance fail, your participation in the events that unfold from the instant of engagement will no longer be voluntary. There will be no time out or calls for fairness to an officiating referee. Your survival rests absolutely, as it does for all creatures in Nature, on withholding no effort in the singular goal of winning your way to safety.

If one comes to be called to face a violent adversary, Human or otherwise, chances are there will be a mismatch in physical size and/or strength between you. You may be starting cold while the other’s blood is already up for the encounter. You’re at the first “O” in the famous “OODA loop” (standing for “Observe, Orient, Decide, Act”) while he’s already somewhere between “D” and “A”. Your adversary may not be alone. Immediate action bolstered by access to an efficient and familiar equalizer and the willingness to use it is key to turning the situation around in a hurry. The force multiplier du jour is the knife.

Why the knife? First of all, and as pointed out in the first chapter of this series, there’s availability. Knives are everywhere, and rarely out of immediate reach. Their ubiquity springs in no small degree from their utility as a true multi-purpose Tool. By comparison, the item most often thought of when the discussion rolls around to self-defence is the firearm, but a gun isn’t a viable option where carrying one is prohibited, and as far as versatility goes, when was the last time you shot yourself off a piece of pie or blew a splinter out of your finger? And on that note, your knife will not be transformed into a poorly crafted club through expenditure of a perishable resource necessary to its effective operation – it will never run out of ammunition. (more…)

“The more I’ve studied the application of fighting arts and delivering lethality, the more I came to eschew the posturings of “toughness” and implied violence. I always laugh at the old saying that you should never fight with an old man because if he’s too old to fight, he’ll just kill you. It carries a solid element of truth at its core methinks. Study your methods and tools, train, and don’t fight unless your predetermined limit is reached. Then it’s all in – the way animals do. Fighting is counterproductive and wasteful – NOT at one with the Way of the Wild as a point in and of itself, but as a necessary element of survival that must be learned by everything that walks, swims, slithers, or flies, each in its own way.” ~ Worldly Wisdom Wednesday – The Positive Side of Conflict

“If It Was Not Art, The Strong Would Always Win.” ~ Hanko Doebringer -1389

Source: The Swordmaster’s Grimoire

I’ve written extensively here over the years on the subject of physical conflict as expressed in the Nature of all things, many times making reference to the fact that, outside of predator on prey encounters, the kind of fight to the death scenario between creatures of like kind that Humans practice is rare indeed. This is because, in Nature and the Way of the Wild, the death of a creature is meant to serve a purpose higher than that another of its kind simply wants it dead.

Every creature in Nature must learn how to use its Naturally endowed force multipliers with competence and efficiency; first and foremost to avoid any combat that may end its life, but failing this, to ensure that the encounter will be short and decisive. The emphasis on brevity should be obvious – the more prolonged the battle, the greater the chance of failure for even the superior combatant. The predator seeks the quickest kill so that its exposure to the defensive efforts of the prey, and potentially crippling injury to itself, will be as abbreviated as possible. The prey seeks safety in situational awareness before the predator’s attack leads to contact, but in the gravest extreme is prepared to fight to the death, for sewn into its nature is the knowledge that this is where the encounter will lead absent immediate action of the most sincerely fierce kind. (more…)

Here’s Tae Us! Wha’s Like Us? Damn few, and they’re a’ deid!

On Day 7 of last year’s Dark Sentiments, I published an article titled Grief that attracted a lot of spirited, heartfelt, and much appreciated commentary. I invite you today to read or reread that in support of our Friend Peter Thompson who is observing a bittersweet anniversary today – that of the death of his Father, John Hazen Thompson,  on 6 July 2000.

It’s traditional for us to gather at Peter’s house on this date to toast his Father. Today was no different, and as usual this was not an unhappy gathering. For clarity, and in my vanity, dear reader, let me pause to quote myself:

As I’ve gone through the grieving process myself, and watched others do the same, it has become clear to me that, in the end, the power and joy of a life well lived is not diminished by the final footnote that it came to an end. That grief is a path leading to a place where, without trivializing our loss or assuming a pretense that the one departed isn’t missed, we can once again think and speak of them fondly and often, without spontaneously melting into a weeping puddle of goo. That their lives will have meaning as long as those of us who remember still draw breath.

Peter is of Scottish descent, and never misses a chance to celebrate his roots. In the spirit of that, what follows is a wee poem written for the occasion; for a Father, and the Son who remembers him:

A Wee Scottish Toast

By LFM

I’ll nae drink t’ a mon
Jus’ because he be deid.
I’ll drink to his Life
An’ his doin’s insteid!

So if this we be doin’,
I’m in t’ th’ hilt!
Sword, dirk, an’everythin’
Under m’ kilt!

So let’s toss off a dram
And let’s blame th’ mon thus –
Ye bloody great lump,
It’s his fault yer wi’ us!

On Tuesday, 2 July 2013, a 16 year old girl was reportedly sexually assaulted in Langley, British Columbia. According to an article posted to the CKNW website:

… mid day on June 22nd, a 16 year old girl was waiting for a bus at 42nd Avenue and 204th Street.

A man pulled up next to her and ordered her in.

She was terrified, and did what she was told.

Once she got inside, he pulled out a large knife, drove to a church parking lot in the 212 hundred block of 56th Avenue, and sexually assaulted her.

He then took her to the bus loop at Logan and Glover road and let her out ….

Many will read the description of this terrible event and focus on the obvious – a young woman targeted and victimized by a sexual deviant. A large knife. A sexual assault in, of all places, a church parking lot. I never take a single news item and accept it as anything close to a full disclosure of fact, but if this played out as described, then there is an element to the sequence of events that I regard to be extremely disquieting for reasons that transcend concern for the traumatic lifelong effects such an incident will have on the victim, and relief that her assailant released her rather than disposing of the presumably only witness to his crime. My problem lies in her compliance under threat even before a weapon became visible and while her assailant was sitting behind the wheel of his car in broad daylight. If this is indeed what happened, it highlights something all parents must study and teach their children about, for the fault lies not with the actions of the poor young woman in question. Those are an outcome of something far more problematic – her reasons for passive compliance.

Before going further, let me emphasize three things:

1. My intention here is to highlight how such tragic and traumatic events can be prevented through training, education, and mindset. I am in no way making light of the lifelong trauma this incident will have on the victim, nor am I blaming her in any way for what happened.
2. Every situation will play out differently, but there are nearly always common threads in each case that highlight simple and effective actions which could have prevented or limited the effects of an attack. Female or male, old or young, learn from them.
3. This is not about teaching your children how to fight or injure another person. This is about survival and refusal to submit to the whims of another. Learning to fight, and using what one has learned in that regard, is a personal choice, not something anyone else can force on you. This is about avoiding the fight in the first place, and trusting to those innate Survival instincts imbued into every living thing by Nature. They are there in all of us, although they are somewhat dimmed in many by fear of imagined immediate consequences, fear of getting into trouble, fear of hurting someone, fear of being rude, fear of being wrong. Always fear, but never fear of the thing that really is fearsome, and through that window of doubt, evil grins.

In the wake of this incident being brought to my attention, I briefly participated in a discussion about it involving several people, one of whom was a woman who reportedly has direct knowledge of the locale, the victim, and the incident. I found her sincerely expressed comments enlightening, and will quote them in what follows without any intent to criticize, disrespect, or disparage her in any way.

I had said this:

I’m still stuck on the fact that she got into his car under her own steam. In all the courses I have taught over the years I have emphasized one thing – NEVER go quietly and willingly into captivity! The perp wants to take you to a secondary crime scene. Where you’re being taken from is undesirable – too risky – so KEEP it risky. This will decide the outcome while his plan is easier for him to abandon than to escalate.

In response to my words, the aforesaid lady replied:

Yes, she got in to the car on her own but she was forced. The area is a rural one, not heavily populated, one that I grew up in so I confirm that it has the “this doesn’t happen here” mentality.This article casts but a glimpse of the incident. He would have caught her if she ran, would have succeeded in getting her in to the vehicle.

I guess I am more so saying that the idea of never go quietly and willingly in to captivity is a great one, but when confronted with the situation it may very well be different. I can see that you train what I am assuming is some sort of self defense against predators like that, and can probably also attest to the fact that people don’t prepare their children enough anymore in the least. I was raised street smart – I work with teenagers, and they are driven everywhere. If they got lost they wouldn’t know what to do.

And so, my words:

Believe me, I never take a single news item and accept it as anything close to a full disclosure of fact. I do, however, stand by my position that to move toward the threat rather than away from it is unnatural. That being the case, it’s something we can train into anyone because it’s in keeping with Nature. Starting the encounter with acceptance of your own inevitability as a victim is to grant ALL control of the outcome to the enemy LONG before you ever meet him because it is built on the belief that nothing you could ever do will counter his actions. That the moment he woke up in the morning with a plan to abduct and have his way with you, he was on the sure road to success and there is nothing you can, or ever could, do about it. That salvation lies solely in the timely arrival of a rescuing third party.

Even in a case where a firearm is pointed at the intended victim, immediate flight out of the line of aim will often result in abandonment of the plan because for most thugs there is no plan B that relates to what to do if your all powerful penis extension isn’t given the respect you think it deserves. There is also the fact that even those who train relentlessly in the art of engaging moving targets with a firearm will tell you that it’s a VERY hard thing to do well. Also, firing a gun makes noise. Stabbing or cutting someone does too because it turns a potentially silent, cooperative, and terrified victim into a screaming, thrashing cat in a bag. Either runs the risk of drawing attention, no matter how rural the community, and also can cause injury to the attacker. They aren’t in this because they want to work for it. Running a foot race with a screaming woman is on the list of too hard. They want a quiet trip to somewhere else, where nobody will be close enough to hear any of the screaming when it starts in earnest.

These are a few illustrative examples of what I teach. None of it is intended to attack any prior commentator, but rather to educate. And I certainly hear your comment about teenagers being driven everywhere. I have a son of my own coming next month and he will not be among such. By the time he’s a teenager he’ll have all the skills necessary to know exactly where he is at all times, even if he occasionally forgets to convey that information to his Mother and me.

In the end, even the best prepared can fail. As the saying goes, some days you get the Bear, some days the Bear gets you. That doesn’t mean you should eschew the skills that give you a chance of turning yourself instantly from the thing your enemy wants most to have, into the thing he wants most to be rid of.

I absolutely refuse to accept the all too commonly held belief that any efforts at avoidance, flight, or resistance are doomed to be futile. It has to end. If it doesn’t, those parents who adopt it and pass it along to their progeny aren’t raising children. They’re raising fodder.

Amid my growing assemblage of favourite quotations is this gem penned by an unknown source, and that found me decades ago:

The thorn defends the rose, yet it is peaceful and does not seek conflict.

Whoever can take the credit, be they alive or dead as I write this, they can rest assured that as far as I am concerned, they said more than a mouthful. I meditate on their words often. And so, this.

The Thorn and the Rose

By LFM

So the Rose may grow in peace,
It bears the gleaming thorn.
Though needle sharp, it offers no
Offense to any born.

In glare of radiant beauty,
Peaceful thorn can scarce be seen,
But its presence will be felt by all
That seek to harm its Queen.

The thorn knows nought of conflict,
In its sweet repose profound.
No malice does it bring to putting
Blood upon the ground.

In the wake of writing my 15 May 2013 article in the Worldly Wisdom Wednesday series, titled Bear Necessities, I was inspired to start rereading Warrior Poet Sid Marty’s exquisite 2008 book, The Black Grizzly of Whiskey Creek. If you have an interest in the Way of the Wild, I highly recommend that you get this book in your hands and digest its message as soon as possible.

I’ll be referring back to this soul searing piece of enlightenment in the future, but just for today I’ll share an excerpt from its Introduction titled The Bear in My Head:

The numbers of grizzly bears in southern Alberta, including Banff National Park, are currently declining, and yet the trend in bear-human conflict shows an increase over time. Writing in Ursus magazine (June 2003), Stephen Herrero and Andrew Higgins have demonstrated that bear attacks in Alberta since 1960 have risen in proportion  to the increase in the human population: “Between 1960 and 1998, bears caused 42 serious or fatal human injuries in the Province of Alberta – 29 (69%) by grizzly (brown) bears (Ursus arctos) and 13 (31%) by American black bears (U. americanus). Considering Alberta’s estimated bear population – about 1000 grizzly bears and 38,000-39,000 black bears – these numbers suggest that the grizzly bears are the more dangerous of the 2 species (emphasis added by LFM). Serious and fatal bear-inflicted injuries increased in number in Alberta, including its national parks, each decade, from 7 during the 1960s to 13 during the 1990s, an increase proportional to the province’s human population growth during that period.”

In his opening statement, “The numbers of grizzly bears in southern Alberta … are currently declining, and yet the trend in bear-human conflict shows an increase over time,” the author said a mouthful. With no disrespect meant to Messrs Herrero and Higgins, and with specific reference to the emphasized portion of the passage above, the numbers quoted do not speak to me as being suggestive that, “… grizzly bears are the more dangerous of the 2 species.” They merely suggest that of the two members of the Bear Tribe referred to, the Grizzly is the least tolerant of clueless, disrespectful interlopers. And that brings me to another matter of no small importance: There are three species involved in these statistics, not just two. They refer to cases in which, “bears caused … serious or fatal human injuries ….”, remember? Yet the human component of instigation is discounted in favour of laying exclusive blame on the Bear. Likewise discounted is the end result of each encounter. For every case in which a Human was injured or killed by a Bear, there are normally lethal consequences for one or more Bears. Who is most dangerous now?

The significant statistic to which I would like to draw attention is delivered in the last sentence of the excerpt – “Serious and fatal bear-inflicted injuries increased in number in Alberta, including its national parks, each decade, from 7 during the 1960s to 13 during the 1990s, an increase proportional to the province’s human population growth during that period.“

So the more people you have in Bear habitat, the more clearly difficult it becomes for them to live in peace with the other residents. All of which puts me in mind of a line delivered by Deputy U. S. Marshall Raylan Givens, played by Timothy Olyphant in the highly LFM recommended television series Justified:

“You run into an asshole in the morning: you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day: you’re the asshole.”

I believe that the evidence strongly suggests which species of the three is the front runner for the asshole title in this scenario. Hint: It’s the least hairy one.

Master Bladesmith Jerry Fisk in a rare moment of repose. Source: facebook

If you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know that two knives made for me by consummate Southern Gentleman, Master Bladesmith, and National living Treasure Jerry Fisk way back in the last century have been my trusty travelling companions for nearly twenty years. Well used but well cared for, in keeping with my philosophy that we never own artifacts – they simply come into our keeping for a while – they will pass down to my successors as Family heirlooms and tokens of power when the time comes.

I just found out about a project the good Mr. Fisk has embarked upon that should excite all his fans, as well as anyone who appreciates the inherent artistry of a well crafted blade, and in hope of aiding his cause I’m making it known here. In his words as quoted in a 24 June 2013 profile article posted to Garden & Gun, he speaks of his plans for 2014:

“I’m also gathering material for a Bowie knife, my signature, that will contain 341 million layers of steel—one for every American alive, plus one for all the newborns—in the blade. But not just any steel, steels from history. I have metal from the Civil War, Iraq, the Golden Gate Bridge, the USS Cole, and I’m searching for a piece of a Model T Ford and something from NASA. But what I really need now is a piece of metal, steel or iron, from something Southern and iconic—a bridge or something like that. If any of your people can help me out, have them get in touch with me through my web site.”

There you have it folks. If you have a piece of a Model T Ford, or think you have that perfect “Southern and iconic” contribution to Jerry Fisk’s project, please give the man a hand. It’s the LFM thing to do!

You can find his website here, or look him up on facebook here.

When one sets forth to learn an Art, whatever that Art may be, one begins with an interest in it as well as some degree of presupposition about its nature. This presupposition will often differ to some degree from the Truth that reveals itself as training in the chosen Art progresses.

A student who prefers his or her imaginings of the Art above the Truth of it will never hear its Truth over the noise of their ego. At best, such ones will falter and fall by the wayside having never reached any meaningful degree of understanding. At worst, now and then one will absorb enough of the Truth to be able to fool the unenlightened, and craft their own version of it in the form of a deceitful amalgam made from blending their own personal presumptions with carefully cherry picked fragments of the Truth. The absolute worst of this latter group will go on to take money from the unwary in exchange for “teaching” what they “know”. In this world at the moment, many True and fine Teachers may be found to guide a student on the Path to their chosen Art, but still more easily found are the false “teachers”.

Telling the difference between the two is often as easy as divining whether or not the “teacher” is still being taught themselves. In reference to my Esteemed Friend and Teacher, Laurie Lacey, I once wrote some lines that I will paraphrase here because I can think in the moment of no better way to explain the concept.

It’s said that the more we learn, the more we come to realize how much more there is to learn, but I regard this description as being far too limiting, task oriented, and dripping with drudgery – as in the further down the road you go, the more you come to realize how much farther you have still to travel. I take a more exploratory angle on this. While the acquisition of knowledge certainly serves to highlight the need for more knowledge in those of us who thirst for it in our quest for that state called “Wisdom”, I see each thing learned as a lamp that further serves to light the way. Each lamp illuminates where we are as it sheds its glow upon what was previously unseen, while at the same time permitting us to perceive new paths diverging into the gloom, each leading who knows where? Of such is born the spirit of exploration and enlightenment!

Those on such a quest will follow these dim paths one by one. Sometimes in the darkness, another lamp is seen in the distance, carried by one who knows well that path, and others convergent and divergent. Who has knowledge of the most fundamentally important kind. If their knowledge includes paths we wish to travel, they may be convinced to impart that knowledge to us, and so become our Teacher, even as they themselves are following the glow of the lamp carried by a Teacher of their own. Even as the student may find himself approached by other lamp bearers desiring knowledge of the paths he knows best. Even as one of these may be the Teacher himself.

Anyone worth learning from makes no pretense of being a finished product, and such people are perpetual students invigorated by their passion, A True Teacher can effortlessly blend his own quest with that of his student.

The “teacher” who presents himself as the pinnacle of achievement is to be avoided. So too is that all too common one who promises enlightenment without effort. Fast, easy, shallow, and meaningless. Delivery in 30 minutes or your pizza is free. In this case, free of all value.

The first effort expended in learning an Art lies in finding a True Teacher.

Breastfeeding in public should never be considered obscene, and should be a Human Right everywhere, like it is in Nova Scotia.
Photo by {link:http://www.brynjaphotography.com/} Brynja Photography{/link}.

As a soon-to-be breastfeeding woman in Nova Scotia, the ignorance surrounding this topic has sparked my ire. This will likely be the first of many posts on the subject of breastfeeding, and today I want to focus on the lack of understanding – from ALL sides including breastfeeding mothers – what the right to breastfeed actually means.

Breastfeeding was made a Human Right under the Nova Scotia Human Rights Act in 2000. Prior to that, women had no recourse if they were told to stop breastfeeding their baby due to some over-sensitive person being offended by such a wanton display of public indecency. Breasts are designed for feeding babies. THAT IS THEIR PURPOSE. Just because someone gets titillated by the sight of a nude breast does not make it indecent. There was a time when catching a glimpse of a woman’s ankle or wrist had the same effect. There is NOTHING indecent about a woman feeding her baby, whether she uses her breast to do it or a bottle.

In researching the cases where women have been asked to leave or cover up since breastfeeding was made a right, I have found some appalling attitudes, and far too many are from women with children!! Instead of teaching your children that breasts are something to hide and be ashamed of, how about using the opportunity for a simple anatomy lesson? That woman is a mother and she is feeding her baby. Why complicate it? Why set up the next generation to be as bigoted as you are?

Some people are of the opinion that bottles should be used for feeding when in public. I will get into the why’s and how’s of breastfeeding in another post, but here’s a bit of education for you – once a bottle is introduced, it can be very difficult to encourage your baby to continue breastfeeding, because breastfeeding requires more work. Unless a baby is actively draining the milk ducts (a breast pump does not stimulate in the same way, so is not effective enough), milk supply will dry off. And once that happens, you’re stuck feeding formula. Formula is NOT as good as breast milk. It doesn’t have the antibodies, the same nourishing components that are tailored specifically for YOUR baby by YOUR body, it is simply a poor substitute to breast milk. When there is no choice, you accept that and do what you can to nourish your baby. But when the choice is there and you CAN breastfeed, you should. And you should be able to do so free of shame.

The Human Rights Act that encompasses breastfeeding protects women from being discriminated against based on gender. It also states: “Women have the right to breast-feed a child in public areas, including restaurants, retail stores and shopping centres, theatres and so forth. Women should not be prevented from nursing a child in a public area, nor asked to move to another area that is more ‘discreet’.”

I think that’s fairly straight-forward. Yet women are continually turned away in establishments by staff who ought to know better, simply because they were feeding their infant! Since this right is based on gender equality, let’s use this rule of thumb:
If you wouldn’t ask a father bottle-feeding his infant to leave or cover his baby up, leave the mother alone!!!
Simple.
Is it ok for a father to bottle-feed his baby in the restaurant? Then it’s ok for the mother to breastfeed. Is it ok for the father to bottle-feed his baby on a bench in the grocery store? Then it’s ok for the mother to breastfeed. This is about feeding an infant, not about public displays of lewdness and indecency. Try not to be so sanctimonious.

A few years ago, a local resident was asked to leave the Bridgewater Superstore while she was nursing. She sat down on one of their benches, behind her grocery cart, but apparently customers had an issue with such a hideous act of a baby being fed that they made complaints. Worst of all, an employee of said store sided with the customers and asked her to leave! Not one of those people would have complained if it had been a man sitting there feeding his infant child by bottle.
The woman did receive an apology from the Superstore, and hopefully it taught the employees a bit about Nova Scotia’s Human Rights.

All of that having been said, some women are taking this right to feed anywhere at any time a little too far. Let’s get one thing straight – very few rights are absolute. Freedom of speech and expression, for instance, does not give you the “right” to say whatever you want to whomever you want. You can’t utter death threats; you can’t “express” yourself by destroying religious property or symbols;  hate speech against a particular ethnic group could find you in a jail cell. Likewise, the right to breastfeed anytime in any place should be exercised with some common sense, because it most certainly is not absolute!

There was an incident last month in New Brunswick, where a woman decided it was a good idea to breastfeed her child at a public swimming pool while IN THE POOL. What compelled her to do such a ridiculously stupid thing, I can’t even guess. Let’s try our rule of thumb here: would it be ok for a father to be bottle-feeding his infant while IN the pool? NO! Get out and do it on the pool deck! No food or drinks in the pool. Breastfeeding while in the pool, therefore, is also NOT OK. This is not discrimination, this is not violating the right to breastfeed. This is a clear lack of judgement on the mother’s part.

Last December, there was a more local incident, at a small jewellery boutique in a mall in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. It was Christmas Eve and a woman, wanting to breastfeed her child, asked for a chair in this little store so she could do so comfortably. The employee got the chair, but the store’s assistant manager asked her to leave. This caused quite a riot among the breastfeeding community because they felt she was wronged. As should be obvious by now, I am 100% in support of breastfeeding. And I disagree with them. Using the litmus test again: if a father asked for a chair so he could feed his infant in a tiny store on one of the busiest nights of the year, what would the reaction have been? The world is not under any sort of obligation to accommodate you so you can feed your baby! Asking to have a feeding station set up just for you, in a building that has benches and chairs everywhere, a food court, a family room off the food court, AND a very comfortable customer service area complete with couches on the lower level, is absurd! I would have told him that we do not have the space to set up a spot for him, and would have pointed him in the direction of the many, MANY options available. Same thing should apply to the breastfeeding mother.

Yes, feeding your child is important. It does not, however, obligate everyone around you to accommodate that. Let’s remember this crucial point: the right to breastfeed is about EQUALITY. It’s about being able to feed your child in comfort where ever you are without being told to cover yourself up or having to run off to a public washroom to soothe the sensibilities of others. It does not give women special dispensation to be assholes.

If there is a place to sit comfortably and feed your child, by all means do so, and do it proudly! Ignore dirty looks, inform any self-righteous people who feel compelled to comment on your actions that they can go ahead and exercise their right to their opinions while you will sit there and exercise your right to breastfeed your child in peace. Cover up if you want to; don’t if you or your child don’t like it. Nova Scotia has one of the lowest rates of breastfeeding in the country. Women should be celebrated and encouraged to breastfeed, not shamed for doing so!!

Just please don’t be an idiot and try breastfeeding in absurd locations like tanning beds.