The official website of Randy L. Whynacht; profoundly literate and articulate Storyteller, Poet, Writer, Speaker, Husband, Father, Leader of Dogs, Adventurer, Technician, Swordsman, Lover, Fighter, exquisite Cook, exceptional Marksman, Teacher, perpetual Student, and Gentleman in the classic sense.
One year ago today, in the glorious autumn of 2008 and on the occasion of the most perfect Hallowe’en ever documented in human history, my perfect Diana and I were married.
People often ask, “Why Hallowe’en?” to which we always answer, “Because some of the most important guests are dead and that’s the only night they could come.”
It may surprise some of you to learn that our flawless day was assembled from start to finish in the span of three weeks. We both knew the time was right and the stress, contrary to what those who don’t know us personally might think, was virtually nil. We simply knew it would all come together as we envisioned it so it was no surprise to us that every person we wanted to be there, every vital component right down to the breath of Nature and the fall of autumn leaves was not only made available for us, but arrived as and when needed exactly on cue. (more…)
The Canadian Radio and Television Commission (CRTC) will soon be considering an application from “local” television stations aimed at forcing cable and satellite television providers to pay them what they claim to be a “fair share” of their profits. My biggest exposure to both sides of this argument comes from my morning dose of Canada AM as Mrs. LFM and I sip our way through our morning dose of coffee. This morning though, as I listened to last minute exhortations from the “local TV” side that I go now and write a letter to the CRTC before it’s too late, I discovered that my patience has worn thin. The smell of bullshit has grown unconscionably thick.
“The Media”, with all that term entails, is a massive source of revenue that drives a never ending quest for the latest way to deliver its message. By deliver I mean sell. Television the way I grew up with it, signals sucked out of the ether by way of a spidery antenna affixed to a roof top or secreted in an attic where it lay in wait to gouge out an eye of the unwary ascender, has been a thing of the past for decades, supplanted by cable feeds and satellite receivers. (more…)
It’s with thanks to Bruce (Uncle Fluffatron) Shephard that I post this because it’s his fault I found it. Die hard Border Collie fan that I am, it goes to my blog without further introduction.
The trailer to the Solomon Kane movie is making the rounds of the internet. In case you haven’t seen it yet, I’m embedding it here. I smell DATE movie!
We’ve all met the sunshiny creepy asshole who spouts some iteration of the phrase, “When life serves you lemons, make lemonade!” as if it represented some kind of a solution to the real life problem of your car just having blown a head gasket. I wish it were otherwise, but the reason we’ve all met that asshole is because there are so fucking many of them. In fact they’re the reason all those pussified, touchie-feelie “Chicken Soup for the (fill in the blank) Soul” books keep getting produced. While one of the most annoying things about this mantra and the dickheads who chant it is that it’s presented like it was some sort of metaphoric solution to all life’s problems, the thing that annoys me the most about it is that lemons are a piss poor choice for such a grand intention. (more…)
Every now and then a product hits the market that’s just such a good idea you wonder why you never thought of it yourself. Introducing Comtech’s “Dehydrated Jim”!
Also watch for new products “Can o’ Jim” (only available in extra piquant) and “Jim Jerky” the snack that bites you back!
Only available from Comtech through Master At Arms James Albert Keating’s personal website MAAJAK World. Not available in stores!
Last Hallowe’en I married the woman of my dreams. As the glorious date of our wedding anniversary approaches, my brilliant Wife (and I will never get tired of referring to her using that term) has lovingly crafted a slide show commemorating that joyous and magickal event. Nothing more needs saying. Take a look.
I once had a lengthy relationship with a woman who gave directions so badly that even people intimately familiar with the place she was talking about could find no discernible similarity with real world conditions. She had the gift of completely sidestepping the basic essentials required by people who are seriously trying to get from point A to point B, and substituting meaningless details that ignored such minutiae as the fact that right is not a substitute for left, towards is not quite the same as away, that a building is only useful as a landmark if it’s still standing, and the colour a house used to be is of less than no importance. As the result of a previous relationship she had also given birth to a son who, for an unfortunately significant part of his childhood, and no matter how often he was corrected, had his own gift of reliably misidentifying the shape of footwear so that he invariably put each of his shoes on the wrong foot every single time. Interestingly, this phenomenon also manifested itself in all of the five male children born to her four sisters. The fact that I produced no offspring with this woman was not an accident. (more…)
Author’s Note: The manufacturers of Spam have been cleared of all wrongdoing in the matter under discussion in this article.
On Saturday I received an e-mail allegedly from “East Link Web Mail” that I’ll quote in full below exactly as written, complete with bad spelling, inappropriate word capitalizations, poor punctuation, and childlike formatting: (more…)
One year ago today, in the glorious autumn of 2008 and on the occasion of the most perfect Hallowe’en ever documented in human history, my perfect Diana and I were married.
The Canadian Radio and Television Commission (CRTC) will soon be considering an application from “local” television stations aimed at forcing cable and satellite television providers to pay them what they claim to be a “fair share” of their profits. My biggest exposure to both sides of this argument comes from my morning dose of Canada AM as Mrs. LFM and I sip our way through our morning dose of coffee. This morning though, as I listened to last minute exhortations from the “local TV” side that I go now and write a letter to the CRTC before it’s too late, I discovered that my patience has worn thin. The smell of bullshit has grown unconscionably thick.
Last Hallowe’en I married the woman of my dreams. As the glorious date of our wedding anniversary approaches, my brilliant Wife (and I will never get tired of referring to her using that term) has lovingly crafted a slide show commemorating that joyous and magickal event. Nothing more needs saying. Take a look.
I once had a lengthy relationship with a woman who gave directions so badly that even people intimately familiar with the place she was talking about could find no discernible similarity with real world conditions. She had the gift of completely sidestepping the basic essentials required by people who are seriously trying to get from point A to point B, and substituting meaningless details that ignored such minutiae as the fact that right is not a substitute for left, towards is not quite the same as away, that a building is only useful as a landmark if it’s still standing, and the colour a house used to be is of less than no importance. As the result of a previous relationship she had also given birth to a son who, for an unfortunately significant part of his childhood, and no matter how often he was corrected, had his own gift of reliably misidentifying the shape of footwear so that he invariably put each of his shoes on the wrong foot every single time. Interestingly, this phenomenon also manifested itself in all of the five male children born to her four sisters. The fact that I produced no offspring with this woman was not an accident. 