Large Fierce Mammal

Source: www.explodingdog.com

H. L Mencken wrote, “Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.” Every day I get exposed to what oozes into public view from under the rock that is Ottawa I revisit those words.

I sporadically manage to sideline Stephen Harper for varying periods of time. Last summer’s painful foray into Canada’s north in the name of sovereignty brought him back into focus, and I was yet again reminded of how much he reminds me of nothing more than the kid everybody picked on in school, now back to exact revenge.

There was Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day’s ill conceived announcement that Canada needs to build more prisons in response to the crimes that go unreported, no doubt eventually to be followed by an impassioned plea from the Education Minister for more schools to teach the children who were never born.

Beyond that, we have all the flavours of opposition who really need to shut the fuck up and think before speaking. All of this leads me to the real topic of today’s article – I am not playing this game any longer.

When you’ve had a meal in a restaurant and the dessert cart comes around, but there is absolutely nothing on it that appeals to you – in fact, most things on it are a bit gross, a few are underdone or otherwise inappropriate, while still others outright turn your stomach – you say, “No thank you,” in classic polite Canadian fashion, and send it away. I present this as a metaphor for my perfected electoral system.

The calling of every election is always accompanied by reminders of just how much voter turnout has gone into a downward spiral, accompanied by mindless parroting of the inevitable drivel that alleges only those who vote have the right to complain about government.

Bullshit. It’s the Government of Canada assholes, not the Government of people who went to the polls.

I suggest that our electoral system needs a few tweaks. If you actually want voter turnout to improve, give the population more options. Done right, we might actually be able to attract some quality candidates worth voting for.

How about this? The ballot contains the name of each candidate. but instead of a single spot next to each name for the voter to make his mark, each has a second added – one spot to vote for a candidate, the other to vote against. You can see how this would improve the system by introducing a Darwinian element of natural selection into the process. No longer will voters be constrained to choose the lesser of several evils, vote for the sake of participating, some misplaced sense of duty, or party affiliations going back to great grandpa who would have voted for the Devil himself if he was running for the Conservatives. The old system leaves the candidates and their parties believing an election is a popularity contest between parties instead of what it really is – each voter’s choice, and one of those choices should be to tell any or all candidates that you would prefer never to hear from them again.

Lastly, how about a spot to indicate that while you don’t actually hate any of the options enough to vote specifically against them, you came to polls to tell everybody that you are refusing to help a single one of the bastards by voting for them. This last one reflects the way I feel about certain movies, performances, and restaurants, wherein I consider them a thing so bad that I’d get up early, shower and spruce, don my finest bib and tucker, and then publicly announce what time I am NEVER going to be there!

The end of an election using my new, revised system would leave the survivors in no doubt as to what just happened, and who they have to thank for it, by eliminating the deafening electoral silence left by people who didn’t vote because they couldn’t see where it would make a difference.

So no. Unless I see something worth voting about, my position will remain, “Not today.”