Large Fierce Mammal

In face of the objection that fairy tales will frighten children, C. S. Lewis made some observations that I find particularly applicable to Fathercraft as I understand and practice it.

The first was,

“Since it is so likely that they will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage . . . Let there be wicked kings and beheadings, battles and dungeons, giants and dragons, and let villains be soundly killed at the end of the book.”

And the second,

“I think it is possible that by confining your child to blameless stories of child life in which nothing at all alarming ever happens, you would fail to banish the terrors and would succeed in banishing all that can ennoble them or make them endurable. For in the fairy tales, side by side with the terrible figures, we find the immemorial comforters and protectors, the radiant ones. . . It would be nice if no little boy in bed, hearing, or thinking he hears a sound, were ever at all frightened. But if he is going to be frightened, I think it better that he should think of giants and dragons than merely of burglars. And I think St. George, or any bright champion in armour, is a better comfort than the idea of the police.”

If you’ve spent much time here, you will have encountered, and might even recognize, a couple of my own poems that spring from both of these sentiments. In this preamble tonight, I’ll save you some time by reproducing them for review.

In the matter of the first C. S. Lewis quotation, I offer The Monster Under the Bed, first published here on the 10th day of March, 2013 —

“Any Parent worthy of the name knows the value of a well timed sword thrust under the mattress or the dramatically thunderous emptying of a revolver into the dark hidey hole of the bedroom closet to cleanse it of the insensate evil lurking there, but most will acknowledge that in such cases, a simple and uplifting story can be the equal of a thousand rounds expended, is one hell of a lot cheaper, and doesn’t leave you with a gun to clean after the child is asleep.

“Members of the LFM Canine Household Cavalry figure prominently in what follows. A few ended up being left out, and this had nothing to do with any intentional snub. Just that, as you will see, Gunner ate the monster before they had a chance to get involved….”

The Monster Under the Bed

An LFM sleepy time story

You cannot let a monster lie
That lurks beneath the bed.
Never leave them there unless
You want to wake up dead.

But you’ll be safe, my little one
From monsters night and day.
What happened to the last one
Makes the rest stay far away.

For you live midst a Pack of Dogs,
Stout guardians, one and all!
Who sleeps within their watchful sphere
No evil will befall.

Good Milo who is black as night
No monster will abide,
For when his nose has caught its scent
There’s nowhere it can hide.

And so it was, a year ago
That Milo caught the smell
Of something hiding in the house
From blackest pits of Hell.

Whate’er the monster had in mind
Would never come to pass.
No option did it have but RUN,
Good Milo on its ass!

The monster screamed as Milo raised
His baying hue and cry,
And hearing him his brethren came
To help the monster die.

Red Robbie from Down Under
Was the next into the fray.
He headed off the hellish thing
And tore its nose away.

A rusty, furry cannon ball
No quarter did he give.
No monster dare face Cattle Dog
That has a hope to live.

A Min Pin’s made for killing Rats
And things that don’t belong.
When something must be driven out
It ne’er takes Minnie long.

And though she may seem miniscule,
No thing to conjure fear,
All fourteen pounds of Min Pin
Latched upon the monster’s ear.

The beset and frantic Monster
Broke straight through the kitchen door,
But instead of gaining safety
It was worse off than before.

For Gunner grabbed it by the scruff,
And shook that thing so hard,
Its arms and legs all flew straight off
And rolled across the yard.

It’s known that German Shepherd Dogs
Won’t leave a job half done.
Gunner rounded up the parts
And ate them, every one.

So never fear, my little one,
No evil can betide
Who sleeps in perfect safety with
A Dog on every side.

In concert with that second Lewis quotation, we have The Watcher at the Window published on the 4th day of October, 2013 —

The Watcher at the Window
(A Sleepy Time Tale)

By LFM

Every night, as darkness falls,
And shadows climb up bedroom walls,
From tunnels hidden dark and deep,
Something comes to watch you sleep.

Pull the shades, it doesn’t mind.
Close the shutters, draw the blind.
Huddle ‘neath the blankets tight –
Nothing hides you from its sight!

It never moves, nor blinks an eye,
It finds your room, however high,
And there it watches ’til the dawn.
At morning’s light you’ll find it gone.

But truth to tell my little son.
This thing is not the only one.
Where each child sleeps in all the lands
Outside their pane, a Watcher stands.

Your own holds vigil through the night,
To guard your every dream from fright.
Your Watcher’s not a thing to fear …
Except for one small thing my dear.

Not every child is kind and sweet.
Some like to steal, they lie and cheat.
Hurting things with kicks and blows.
But when this starts, their Watcher knows!

Become a wicked child of sin,
And what’s without will come within!
What once stood guard will haunt your dreams,
And revel in your endless screams.

So ere you go to bed my lad,
Do cleanse your heart of all that’s bad.
Bring your parents joy, not sorrow,
Lest you be in Hell tomorrow.

All of this frivolity to introduce an animated short film that has the LFM seal of approval for family watching with children who are being properly raised. Here’s T. B. P. A New Kind of Fairy Tale. by Dave Bundtzen & David Schmacher, and brought to us today courtesy of the inimitable CGBros.