Large Fierce Mammal

In my studies of the peculiar practice of cannibalism, I’m often surprised by the common thread in cannibals getting caught. Faced with the dilemma of disposal, they are often pack rats, and eventually something rotten this way comes to attract unwanted attention.

In this vein, I give you the tale of Jerry.

Cannibal Jerry

By LFM

Jerry was a cannibal,
Though not for very long,
And the reason that he stopped was not
Because he thought it wrong.

The bane of many like him,
And what often gets them caught,
Is left overs aren’t a turn on so
They give them little thought.

Acquisition and consumption is
What’s foremost in their mind,
So all their planning goes to that
Until, of course, they’ve dined.

I know you’ll understand it’s hard,
Within a single day
To eat your weight in person.
Some you’ll HAVE to pack away.

Forgotten milk will tend to sour,
Old bread will go to mould.
Unless you want your meat to spoil,
You have to keep it cold.

So Jerry froze his meat supply
Until its time for eating,
But fate soon dealt the kind of blow
That never needs repeating.

An old and failing freezer
Ended Jerry’s life of sin.
He died beside the toilet
Wond’ring which end to put in.

His neighbours called the landlord
To complain about the reek.
He went inside, then reeled back out,
He couldn’t even speak.

The M. E. took the corpse away,
And all the rest as well.
So justice came for Jerry
Who now shits himself in Hell.