Large Fierce Mammal

A friend of mine recently brought something to light that I had forgotten about until this morning. Back in 2008, a team led by French marine archaeologist Franck Goddio announced discovery of a bowl dating from between the late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D, inscribed with what they believe to be the first known reference to the Biblical Christ.

The bowl is marked, “DIA CHRSTOU O GOISTAIS” which the recovery team have interpreted to mean either, “by Christ the magician” or, “the magician by Christ.” Speaking from my own studies, I would lean toward the latter.

It’s a well known fact that around 1000 AD, Viking explorers and traders spent quite a bit of time roving and rummaging around the east coast of North America from the northern tip of Newfoundland where they left some famous signs of their presence at L’Anse au Meadows, to as far south as the Hudson River. Less well known is that back in 1853, a Newfoundlander named Tim Tarbox spent quite a bit of time there minding a screech still. While rooting about for fire wood one day, he was overcome by the call of nature and, as he was digging a cat hole in a peat bog with a stick, found two perfectly preserved pieces of crockery that bear a striking resemblance to the one disinterred by the Goddio team – but with a striking and, I believe significant difference between them.

One is inscribed identically to the bowl pictured here, and in light of paleolinguistic analysis of the two taken together as companion artifacts, the interpretation made by a local clergyman on the weekend after the Tarbox find was, “the magician by Christ.” This is the favoured translation because the inscription of the other bowl, written in Old Icelandic, reads, “the thunder by Lord Thor.”

Ye Holey Grail. Click to enbiggen.

This combination of Pagan Norse and Christian expressions may seem odd to some, but it is actually not particularly out of place because, at the time the artifacts would have been left in Newfoundand, Viking society contained adherents to both belief systems. Taken together, their paleolinguistic significance is that they are believed to represent the point of origin for the now common Newfoundland expletive, “By the Lord T’underin’ Jesus!”

In addition, although much less well substantiated, is the story that when Tarbox found the items while preparing to relieve himself, he decided to use them both as tiny commodes giving birth to the term, “thunder mug”. It’s also said the day of discovery was an exceptionally foggy one, and that the event was the inception of the well known Newfoundland reference to a fog bound day as, “T’ick as shit in a mug.”

Ancient dragon poop in a papyrus bag. Even after carbon dating, that shit never gets old!

Unfortunately, neither bowl is available for further study because Tarbox later traded them to the owner of a pub in Deer Lake where they were broken one night over the heads of two unruly patrons to stop a bar fight. Their remains were swept up and kept in a cheese cloth bag hanging in the tap room until they were ground fine to thicken a stew at some point during the exceptionally harsh winter of 1860.

Mrs. LFM and I particularly enjoy tales of such discoveries, and rooting out the amazing stories behind them. Our own meagre collection contains two prizes – an ornate jeweled dribble chalice bearing the Latin inscription that translates roughly to, “Ye Holey Grail” , dated at around 10 AD, and one slightly later piece, a pile of dragon excrement in a papyrus bag suitable for deployment on any doorstep in any era, and still flammable after all these centuries! While old, both are actually modeled after even earlier items known to have existed in the personal collection of the Greek philosopher Comedocles who, as everyone knows, gave us the modern English word “comedy”.

Trick and treat.