Large Fierce Mammal

Today for your edification, I’m offering up a concentrated dose of St. Patrick’s Day goodness gleaned from LFM utterances on St. Patrick’s Days past. Too much goodness to lie forgotten in the archives.

No beard back then, but I do have beer. I believe this was taken the day beer was invented. It was green due to chlorophyll content, and when exposed to sunlight it made more beer! Alas, the recipe has been lost. (click to enbiggen)

It’s been said that God invented whisky so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world. So far it’s worked.

I’ve always appreciated a good toast, tastefully delivered, no matter how ribald the content, but the Irish are an odd people. Their toasts are full of statements like, “May you die in Ireland”, which for most nationalities would be a good reason to stay the hell out of there, but for them reflects on the rough history known by many of their countrymen and women, far away from the Old Sod.

The Irish are like Newfoundlanders in a couple of respects; first, it’s hard to find one you don’t instantly like; and second, all you need is one to complete a party.

So here are a few toasts delivered early enough for you to learn them before you embark on your St. Patrick’s Day revelries. Enjoy, and don’t bloody embarrass me by getting too drunk to get them right!

My all time favourite for many occasions:

May those that love us love us, and those who don’t love us may God turn their hearts, and if He won’t turn their hearts may He at least turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limping.

I first heard this next one on the “Mead” episode of “The Thirsty Traveller” on the Food Channel. While not Irish in origin, it works in any encounter involving alcohol, and what’s not Irish about that? It’s best delivered all in one breath:

Here’s to the health of your blood, here’s to the blood of your health. If your blood is not healthy, your health must be bloody, so here’s to your bloody good health!

Anyone will appreciate this toast. Raise your glass to the honoured recipient and say, with a cock o’ th’ head:

To your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.

Then there’s this one I call upon solely in raising a glass to my incomparable Mrs. LFM:

I have known many, liked only a few, but truly loved only one; this toast is to you!

And lastly for today, here’s one for last call:

May you all get what you want, and not what you deserve!

It’s all about the booze and the music today. I can’t pour you a dram through the internet, ‘though you all know I would if I could, but at least I can share a little LFM musical preference.

This Dennis Leary classic should need no big fanfare of introduction. Have a listen!

My Friend Peter Thompson has my assurance that I will honour his request to sing this over the corpse at his wake. If the corpse is his, well then all the better, but I’m not fussy. Come to think of it, he first asked me to do this a couple years ago, and I’m starting to doubt his sincerity about dying. So much so that I’ve suggested a practice wake … kind of like a wedding rehearsal for the living dead. Listen to this while you think on that. I know there’s no thumbnail picture there to greet you but I have every confidence you’ll be a rogue and press play anyway.

It being St. Patrick’s Day, before too much time has elapsed, all the Public Houses in the land will be decanting an assortment of green libations, if they haven’t started already, so I remind you all that starting immediately, you should steer clear of eating emerald snow. Whether you imbibe or no, here are a couple of spirited performances from Celtic Woman that you will find hard to put down. A steadily changing group of hot Irish Women, one of whom (the one on the right of the photo below) is a fiddle player you will find possessed of nothing short of “other worldly” talents.

One evolution of Celtic Woman. (Source: http://celticwoman.com/)

First up is a house favourite that never failed to get oldest SFM Viktor (now three and a half) kicking and squealing with delight when he was a mere 6 months of age. Even then, he had come to appreciate feminine pulchritude. Níl Sé’n Lá is about partying all night. Literally “Not Yet Day”, the group sees the intention more as “Seize the Day”, and we’d never argue with that.

Téir Abhaile Riú, usually translated as “Go home with you!“, is the tale of a free spirited young thing who is off to cavort with the sailors in Galway. What’s not to love?

Of all the peoples in all the lands, none harbours such a brooding darkness as the Irish, and of the history of their nation, there is none anywhere dark enough to compare. Even the national drink is impenetrable.

Brown Bag Films is an Irish company described on its website as:

Europe’s most exciting, original and successful creative-led animation studio. Since 1994, their Dublin-based headquarters have produced cutting-edge animation for the international market, bagging numerous awards along the way. These include Oscar® nominations for Give Up Yer Aul Sins (2002), Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty (2010) and Bafta and Emmy nominations for their hugely popular TV series, Octonauts (2011).

Give Up Yer Aul Sins is part of a series “… based upon the 1960s recordings of young children telling Bible stories in a classroom to their schoolteacher. When a film crew arrives at an inner city Dublin National School to record the children, the result is a warm, funny and spontaneous animated documentary, featuring young children telling the story of John the Baptist, The birth of Jesus, the Crucifixion, Saint Patrick and others. Give Up Yer Aul Sins combines simple humour with clever animation to create films with a timeless quality and appeal to a family audience. Give Up Yer Aul Sins has screened in almost 50 film festivals, including The Galway Film Fleadh (where it won Best Animation), Cork Film Festival (Best Irish and Best International Animation), Cartoons on Bay (Special Award for Original Idea), New York Comedy Festival, Boston Irish Film Festival, Aspen Film Festival and Cannes Film Festival.“

So next, settle back and focus. Focus HARD because this little girl has an accent you could dull an axe on. Here’s Give Up Yer Aul Sins – Story of Saint Patrick.

Next up, and since as my Father used to say, you can’t fly on one wing, we have the tale of a hapless traveller serendipitously gifted with an encounter that will leave him both wiser and poorer. I give you today a very special education in the History of Ireland by Brown Bag Films. As previously, I apologize in advance for the lack of subtitles bearing English translation.

Now, I’ll yield the floor once again to The High Kings to sing us out with their rollicking rendition of Rocky Road to Dublin. Sláinte!