Large Fierce Mammal

Happy New Year Tinkerbell, you shapely minx. Today, part muse, part spirit animal.

It’s all over but the pyrotechnics and we are here at this singular point in what seems customarily and repetitiously perilous times with two bits of rhyme for your edification. I have kept both simple to facilitate ease of consumption notwithstanding the reader’s state of inebriation, and they will remain enshrined here for return visits from those who awaken wondering what the hell just happened.

I had intended to offer up an epic poetic treatment inspired by a scholarly tome I was recently made aware of that frames appreciation of a well turned female derriere as a racist act, and the dance move known as “twerking” as a gravely heinous variety of cultural appropriation. I soon learned that will have to wait until the bell has tolled twelve and a few suns have cycled through the heavens as, not unlike Tinkerbell’s hips arresting her passage through the keyhole, I have found the subject too broad to be rushed.

First, a toast!

Again here we stand on a kind of frontier,
Ere the twelfth ringing chime marks an end to the year,
Raise glasses and voices in sending it hence
In hope that the next makes a little more sense.

And the main course, presaging much in the year to come. Happy New Year.

Say What You Mean

By LFM

Explaining twenty twenty-two is quite a daunting chore,
All the words you need mean things they’ve never meant before.
A dictionary’s not much use, and even less your friend,
They’ve long abandoned lit’racy to follow every trend.

For good or ill, all languages will grow through common use,
It’s how we know that “masturbate” is also “self-abuse”,
And if you feel a burning need for looking up “compliance”,
You’ll find that common use defines you’re “following the science”.

To go and look up “woman” is particularly fraught,
That’s seven heavy volumes full of nothing like you thought.
It’s faster on the internet but first let me remind you,
You’ll need a VPN or else the thought police will find you.