Dark Sentiments 2015 – Day 5: Thomas the Zanti Tank Engine

| October 5, 2015

The Thomas The Tank Engine series has the creepiest, most awful method of vehicle anthropomorphization in the history of human culture. ~ Thomas The Tank Engine Is Destroying All Cartoon Vehicles And Creeping Me The Hell Out I put being “creeped out” behind me a long, long time ago, but as a writer of the […]

Dark Sentiments 2015 – Day 3: Everybody Has a Past

| October 3, 2015

Tonight’s Dark Sentiment is a Welsh documentary from 2007 that touches in many places on material I visited in 2010 – the first year this series every saw the dark of night. I therefore recommend that you revisit those heady days of yore with Dark Sentiments – Day 15 and Dark Sentiments – Day 23, […]

Dark Sentiments 2015 – Day 1: Never Tenderized but Better Seasoned

| October 1, 2015

  So you’ve come back Goode Readers. Welcome, and may I say that it’s nice to see your faces again, even as I note more than a few of you are a little more scarred and worn about the chassis than this time last year. Ah well; you’re still above the sod, and time wounds […]

Ode to the Colicky Bairn

| August 15, 2015

By all reports, Mrs. LFM and I were both colicky babies. Having both been born at a very young age, neither of us has any direct recollection, so we’re forced to take parental word on that. Rumour has it that 40% of babies have colic, and whether or not that is accurate, SFM Lukas represents […]

Election Canada 2015 – Public Opinion Polls: Yes = No

| June 12, 2015

Gildor Inglorion: “That Gandalf should be late, does not bode well. But it is said: ‘Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.’ The choice is yours: to go or wait.” Frodo Baggins: “And it is also said, ‘Go not to the elves for counsel, for they […]

Musings Upon My Natal Day

| April 23, 2015

Springtime is a season of many and varying complexions here in Nova Scotia, and one of the many reasons affecting all the seasons leading us to often remark that if you don’t find the weather to your liking, just wait a few minutes. Because of this, choosing one’s attire for the day is slightly complicated […]

Take the Fight to the Enemy

| April 19, 2015

For those of you who aren’t privy to the machinations of Canadian politics, our government is attempting to push through a piece of legislation that is widely held by the thinking population, including us LFMs, as a dangerous and intolerable assault on the rights and freedoms of Canadians, all presented as another one of those […]

Stupid Is as Stupid Sees

| April 18, 2015

It’s said that you must never suggest to a woman that she might be pregnant unless there is a baby coming out of her at that very moment. In a similar fashion, I would advise that while survival demands recognition of the potential defensive and offensive use of any object, however mundane, as a weapon […]

Yeah, He Did

| April 13, 2015

We all know that children naturally imitate adults, and how important it is to make sure that whatever it is your kid sees you doing, it’s something you can safely shape into play that’s gauged to their present level of understanding. There comes a time when the child’s development imparts the ability to grasp that […]

Nature’s Jocularity

| March 29, 2015

“Oddly enough, this poem was born from an intention to write something with a pretty beginning that set the reader up for a funny punch line involving the way Spring unveils just how much frozen dog shit has been slumbering under the snow and ice in our yard, and that blessed day when Nature does […]