Randy | February 9, 2014
It is always with the greatest of joy that I greet every morning, just because of who I wake up next to, and today marks yet another reason to be both joyful and thankful – the anniversary of my incomparable Wife’s birth! So to you, my Love and most powerful inspiration, there’s this. The happiest of […]
Randy | January 25, 2014
On the subject of that famous Christmas confection called fruitcake, Johnny Carson once said, “The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” He appears to have had little of the sort to say of The Haggis, and that was wise of […]
Randy | January 17, 2014
I wrote this for fun one night last week, while sitting in bed talking to Mrs. LFM during the nightly ritual of feeding the SFM before we all go down for the duration. I read it to her, and at her insistence, present it here. Swaddling is an age old practice dating far back before […]
Randy | December 24, 2013
This poem was inspired by actual events. I was there when it all came to pass. A Christmas Announcement By LFM Once upon a time I knew A little girl with trouble. Instead of coming out her bum Her farts would form a bubble. The bubble would get stuck inside, And really hurt a lot, […]
Randy | December 7, 2013
In the wake of my 5 December 2013 reminder of Krampusnacht, I dedicate today’s ever so timely homage to my Esteemed forensic investigator Friend Martin. He, and you, will understand why when you get to the end of the poem, and I’m sure he, of all people, will consider this good advice indeed. Krampusnacht By […]
Randy | December 1, 2013
This poem was inspired by actual events. Persons involved may be known to the author. Great Pith an’ Moment By LFM (Click here to listen to the LFM himself reciting Great Pith An’ Moment!) To change a bairn’s wee bottom is Nae horrid thing to do, For nae deathly thing awaits ye In amongst the […]
Randy | November 24, 2013
News coverage of the so called “knockout game” should have your blood boiling by now. This was inspired by it, although you are cautioned not to take it as a template for, or recommendation of, vigilante justice. Just stay aware and always strive to ready yourself to do what needs doing, in all things. The […]
Randy | October 27, 2013
On the heels of yesterdays Dark Sentiment that spoke of magickal invisibility rings and the weakness of Man in favour of evil doing in the face of certain – or at least perceived – anonymity, today I present something a bit more uplifting. A School History of England was written by C.R.L.Fletcher and Rudyard Kipling, […]
Randy | October 25, 2013
Today’s Dark Sentiment may or may not be appropriately titled, but no matter. What follows was inspired by SFM, and led to me turning an old joke I heard a long time ago from a Bermudian broadcaster into a poem that ends with poop. Before that though, it has a near death experience, rescue, bad […]
Randy | October 23, 2013
In 1890, American artist Edwin Romanzo Elmer (1850–1923) painted the family portrait that is the subject of today’s Dark Sentiment. It depicts the artist, his wife, and their daughter Effie, who died shortly before it was painted. Even a cursory examination reveals the mother to be shrouded in shadow while the child and everything associated […]