Large Fierce Mammal

Click the picture to enbiggen. Source: http://th08.deviantart.net/fs50/PRE/i/2009/326/8/9/Happy_Festivus_by_PoSmedley.jpg

If you’ve ever met anyone who watched even one episode of Seinfeld, you’ve heard of Festivus, AKA “A festivus for the rest of us”. If you’ve dug a little further, you’ll also know that today is the day.

The origins of Festivus are not lost in antiquity. They lie in the writings and family practices of Daniel Lawrence O’Keefe of Chappaqua, New York, who was an editor for Reader’s Digest, and made the first known references to the holiday in 1966. Theories have been espoused that the twenty-third of December date is significant because it lies between the day of the Winter Solstice and Christmas Day, but O’Keefe himself explains that it actually marks the anniversary of his first date with his wife Deborah, and so became an annual day of celebration well before the couple had children.Traditions associated with Festivus developed until, as son Daniel the Younger reports, they came to include:

• A wrestling match among the celebrant children;
• An airing of grievances recorded on audiotape for posterity, in which each person present would explain in  detail all the ways they have been disappointed by their family in the past year;
• A clock in a bag, and if there is anyone now living who knows what the hell that was about, they aren’t saying; and
• A theme that changed every year, including such choices as, “Too easily made glad?” and “Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?”

Festivus wasn’t widely known outside the O’Keefe family until son Daniel, employed as a writer on Seinfeld, introduced it into the show where it took on a new life all its own. In the show, Festivus grew out of a combative department store epiphany experienced by Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller). It will save me a lot of typing if I let him explain it in his own words … and actions.

I felt pangs of déjà vu as I listened to that the first time, because back in the midst of the first wave of the Cabbage Patch Kid craze, I personally witnessed a similar event that occurred between two women and resulted in complete destruction of the prize before management were able to restrain both combatants and throw them off the premises. That’s a tale I promise to relate in more detail before this Long Winter’s Night is through.

As it evolved through Seinfeld, the trappings and traditions of Festivus saw further refinement until they included:

• The traditional Festivus feast – meat loaf;
• The Festivus “tree” – the bare aluminum pole Frank referred to;
• “The airing of grievances” remained, but got expanded outside of family to include friends who, after all, are the family you pick;
• “The feats of strength” became an event where the head of a household challenged someone to a wrestling match which signalled the end of Festivus when one or the other got pinned. Wikipedia lists a rule for the challenged that states, “A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.”

Speaking for ourselves, Mrs. LFM and I have practiced our own version of “The Feats of Strength” for pretty much as long as we’ve known each other. The exception is that, in our case, no matter who wins, there really isn’t a loser, and the party just begins when somebody gets pinned.

Festivus continues to grow in popularity for reasons I think this quote, attributed to the Boston Globe, puts best:

“Behind its popularity, devotees say, are its absence of presents, accent on idiocy, and refreshing lack of familial psychodrama. Festivus may have its own quirky rituals, they note, but none involving theology, batteries, reindeer, political correctness, or parental guilt.”