Large Fierce Mammal

“But darkness came on fast, and the paths of the wood seemed but imperfectly known to the marauders.” ~ Ivanhoe, Sir Walter Scott

Sad to tell, most people with a taste for Dark Sentiments don’t always go looking for it in moonlit forests, ancient basements, forgotten burial grounds, remote moors, hoary caves, or sexual adventure. Not enough go to literature. Most to cinema. A few go out to dine.

Last season we spoke of a dish that most would rather not see, let alone taste or smell. Today we’ll delve into a chain of restaurants with a far more appealing menu, and that specialize in keeping patrons literally in the dark, ensuring the blindest of blind dates. Welcome to Dans le Noir.

Described by one reviewer:

“Dans Le Noir employs only blind waiters and you depend on them completely, especially if you’ve had too much to drink and really want a wee-wee.

Our waitress, called Lizza, was very patient and polite with us. She warned us every time she placed something in front of us, and slowly explained how to pour water and wine into our glasses.” ~ The Blond discovers: a taste of darkness – Dans Le Noir?

With restaurants sprinkled world wide, including London, Aukland, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona, Nantes, Nice, and St. Petersburg, Dans le Noir operates on the philosophy that the removal of one sense will result in a heightening of the others. This may or may not be true for everyone, but from my own experience with more than satisfactory success employing sensory deprivation in the service of other appetites, why the hell not?

An interesting side effect of the experience, noted by the earlier quoted reviewer was this:

“Another thing I found strange was that people shouted at each other. They didn’t talk in a normal way. They behaved like they were in a pub with a very loud music on.”

Speaking as one who does a lot of his best work in the dark (not that kind — I don’t consider it work and prefer the lights on), I find this peculiar, and probably indicative of nervous compensation. Whatever the cause, I’m assured that the lights will come on if the fire alarm triggers, and that’s of concern to me on a professional rather than personal level because I never go abroad in the land, let alone escort a date, absent at least two means of shedding light on the matter, with equivalent options for setting things on fire.

Let’s shed some light now, courtesy of the purveyors themselves, and if any of you weary travellers out there have attended their board, then please do utter your enlightenment for the rest of us!