Large Fierce Mammal

Written words are visual guides to the making of sounds that, when uttered aloud, convey meaning. An example is the word “label”.

A label can be a physical object that, when applied to another object, conveys important information about it. What it is, who made it, what it’s made of, how to use it, how long it may be kept, and the best means of storage before use or consumption. Things like that. These sorts of labels abound in today’s world and are vital to navigating the perils and pitfalls of acquiring and using the commodities we take for granted to feed ourselves and our families, clean our homes, ourselves, and possessions, and maintain our surroundings. To wipe our bums and blow our noses. Cure a headache.

And then there’s the other kind of label. This kind also abounds in today’s world, but less as a means of conveying important information than as a short cut around understanding. Understanding requires a desire for knowledge, and a willingness to be observant. To study, think, and draw conclusions. Unlike labels of any description, these attributes are not common in the world. If this type of label is applied to a controversial thing – a firearm for example – or worse yet, a person, the label alone comes to replace the true substance of that to which it’s applied. That’s how we get terms like “gun violence” for example, flying in the face of the fact that violence doesn’t come in flavours, and notwithstanding the implement that is used to bring it about, there is only violence, and it springs exclusively from the mind of its perpetrator

Similarly, there is no “gay love” or “straight love”, there is only love. There is no “gay marriage” or “mixed marriage”, there is only marriage. There are no “women’s rights” or “gay rights”, there are only rights. In not one of these examples is there justification for tagging violence, love, marriage, or rights with a qualifying label branding it as something different from every other expression of it. The term “racial hatred” doesn’t define a special brand of hatred. There is only hatred, and “racial” is the excuse for its existence – a label. The same goes for “religious intolerance”.

Today’s installment of WWW was inspired by my friend Sparky who recently posted a simple question directed to a specific portion of those who know her through facebook:

I have a question for my straight male friends: When you think the word “lesbian” what kinds of images or thoughts come up? Write a word or phrase as a comment. I’m interested in your thoughts for an upcoming article. Go. 🙂

An excellent question. In my experience, the dictionary definition of “lesbian” is not the go to place for many because, alas, “lesbian” has become a label.

Only as used by one for whom the word “lesbian” defines their sexual way of being can the word be relied on to mean what it is meant to mean, but what it means has come to be usurped by what it shouldn’t mean. Sexual preference, for example. What bullshit! People do not “prefer” to be sexually attracted to one another. They simply are. I Love my Wife with every fibre of my being, but not because I prefer to, and nobody is owed an explanation that justifies it. Not even me.

As I’ve gone through life, I have encountered a disappointingly large number of “men” – alas far too often nothing more than another label that usually means little beyond “able to grow pubic hair adjacent to a penis” – who would quickly take violent umbrage were they to be the recipient of sexual advances from another man, but lack the understanding to realize that an unwanted sexual advance is an unwanted sexual advance regardless of the sex or level of attractiveness of the source, and the level of politeness inherent in one’s approach to declining or accepting it must be entirely dictated by the manners and respect expressed by the other person. There is a time to tell someone to fuck off or else, but their sex should never have anything to do with it.

It must also be understood that when a woman declines the advances of a man, for him to declare the only possible reason for the occurrence to be that she is a lesbian renders him deserving of another label that I think you can probably guess.

It’s all too often said that ménage à trois is every man’s fantasy. More bullshit. I once had a conversation with a “man” who expressed a similar sentiment, and naturally his libido drew him toward the presumption that the scenario would include him in the company of two women. Bastard that I am, I encouraged him to elaborate on what he found exciting in the whole thing and the upshot was that,“… watching two women going at it is hot!”

So I asked, ” OK, you have this fantasy and your woman agrees to help it come to pass. A pretty big gift I would say. Then, in all fairness she asks for the opposite arrangement from your side. I think that if you’re prepared to ask for one, you should be just as ready to offer the other, don’t you?”

That brought about a very quick end to the conversation, and also to what the word “lesbian” brought to my mind when Sparky asked.

I could go on but you asked for just a few words me darlin’, and I hope these help you with your article.