Which Side of the Lock is the Safety On?
Posted By Randy on March 2, 2013
I’m in the throes of putting together a new Self Reliance Course series, and as usual, the Daemon that lives in my head pooped … I mean popped … out a poem. Behold …
Ode to a Home Invasion
By LFM
My door was locked. You didn’t care.
You kicked it from the frame.
The two of you, and one of me –
You saw this as YOUR game.
You hurled your taunts as breaking in,
You talked about my Wife,
And of the things you’d make me watch
Before you took my life.
Such fury in your entrance,
Met with silence from within.
Now one skull rolls across my floor,
The other’s cleft to chin.
It would be a grave mistake to invade THIS home…
Oh shit. I left out the Dogs. AND the murderous Wife.
They're there in spirit 😀
My family motto " Know thy self " Next to that " know thy sword".
Note to scary dangerous home invaders: Aren’t you sorry you did that?
You know, I always envision my part in something like this as silent. There’s always too much talking in movies. The hero has to have a signature line. The last laugh. I’ll talk later. In the moment I’m about winning, and this is the wrong place to come looking for a fair fight.
Anybody remember Crazy Joe Davola on the Seinfeld show? When Elaine was dating him (thinking of breaking it off), she showed up at his apartment, and the door was wide open. When she asked why, he said: “I like to encourage burglars” or something like that. Crazy Joe Davola, my favorite character on the Seinfeld show………..
Gary, I really never followed Seinfeld, but I’ve enjoyed some of the characters. When a Dog charges into a room here, or we see a person do that, we say he or she “Kramered” in. I also feel a kinship with the Soup Nazi.
Now that you brought up Mr. Davola, I can’t believe I never heard of him before. I suppose though that this kind of thing is what Esteemed Friends are empowered to do, and many thanks!
I plunged up some of his moments on YouTube and think it might be time to download that series for a watch from the beginning. I too have kiboshed before, and fully intend to do so again.
Hahaha, enjoy my Friend! Some of that stuff is a bit dated but some funny moments. Kinship with the Soup Nazi?!!!? That’s great, just great–I can kind of see your point………..
On those occasions on which I fire a client, “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” never fails to come to mind.
No one will know, Where you did go, You and your evil friend. My shovel's clean, No trace is seen, And my new rose blends right in,