Masculinity and Rites of Passage
Posted By Randy on July 21, 2018
One fulsome morning in the late autumn of my 16th year, I was a student pilot at the controls of a Piper PA-28 “Cherokee” in the afterglow of the rollout from what had to be the best landing I’d ever accomplished. That took an epiphanous turn when I heard my Flight Instructor telling me to stop and drop him off before going around again.
Granted the vote of confidence by my FI with a double bang on the cockpit roof and the words, “Off you go now! Come back and pick me up,” along with the admonishment, “Don’t bend it!”, I was soon smoothly accelerating down runway two-four on my way to just another circuit of the field.
Just another circuit. Only this time alone.
And why does that matter if you’ve already proven to yourself, and everyone else that matters, that you could do this simple manoeuvre flawlessly on demand with an FI in the airplane? Because in that instant when the wheels leave the ground, no matter how confident you may have been with an experienced hand riding the right seat, the singular aloneness brings a realization that perhaps for the first time in your life, there is only one person in the world who will get you back alive. For me, it was both sobering and life changing. A True Rite of Passage.
I tell you this story (again) because it illustrates the transformational power of Rituals like Rites of Passage in Human society, and why their lack, or worse their misunderstood and therefore misguided application, promises a diminution of the ranks of those who can lay claim to True Manhood and the Masculinity that fuels it.
As Oxford defines it, a “Rite of Passage” is,
A ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life, especially birth, the transition from childhood to adulthood, marriage, and death.
We need Rites of Passage, for without them the members of a society cannot transcend adolescence. We’re living the fact of that today.
Soloing an airplane neither defined my Masculinity nor gave me claim to Manhood. I knew I had the skills to get that airplane off the ground, through the pattern, and back onto the runway of a busy airport in one piece, and in that alone nothing more was to be learned. The Lesson, and therefore the Rite of Passage on my way to the Man, Husband, and Father I am today, was that wherever you may be in the present moment, be the best Man and up to the challenge. After all, if you can’t trust yourself with your own life, what hope is there for anyone else who may come to rely on you?
We’ll continue this line of thought when next we convene.
The Rites of Passage appear to have become a notion of the past. Unfortunately, most ‘civilized’ groups do not seem to give it the importance that perhaps, ‘aboriginal’ tribes would. I look back on my RoP and it was for me the military though not from a ‘solo’ perspective though in essence, I was completely cut off from anything I previously knew of.
The singularity and sudden experience of total reliance on one’s own self can take many forms, but for some reason it is now looked upon as an unnecessary function in the growing up process as we have become a society that is more and more dependent on others assuming a faux responsibility for the masses and creating a depth of despair when it comes to individuality regardless of the efforts foisted on people to think they are unique; the advent of which is that it is totally acceptable to blame others for shortcomings and irresponsibility.
More as you develop this offering…
I recall how we had to move a giant brass urn filled with blazing coals, using our forearms.,…wait…. oh, never mind, I fell into a drunken stupor watching Kung Fu again,,,,
Not to worry Julian. By my observations, this falling into a drunken stupor watching King Fu is a common problem. That and Sonny Chiba movies.