On the Weihnachtsjäger Trail

| July 25, 2021

The pale monotropa uniflora, “Indian pipe” in the vulgar tongue, has been a point of study here since July of 2019, and I first harvested and tinctured it in the same month of 2020. This is the second year of its gathering, this year including all three LFM Sons, but most particularly #1 Son Viktor, […]

A First of July Road Trip With Canada

| July 1, 2021

“Hydroplaning, or aquaplaning, is a dangerous driving condition that occurs when water causes your car’s tires to lose contact with the road surface. Whether it lasts for an instant or several seconds, hydroplaning is a jolting indication that you’ve lost all the available traction. In those moments, you are for all intents and purposes a […]

Cracks in the Foundation — The Grand Beta Test: Part the Second

| June 26, 2021

INTRODUCTION “Cracks in the Foundation” refers to those parts of the societal fabric so rickety that they have widened to the point where most can no longer be plugged even by something as magnificently huge as the ass of the elephant in the room. It is these that have attracted the investigative efforts of the […]

Cracks in the Foundation — The Grand Beta Test: Part the First

| June 1, 2021

INTRODUCTION “Cracks in the Foundation” refers to those parts of the societal fabric so rickety that they have widened to the point where most can no longer be plugged even by something as magnificently huge as the ass of the elephant in the room. It is these that have attracted the investigative efforts of the […]

Cracks in the Foundation — The Matter of a “Living Wage”: Part the Second

| May 28, 2021

INTRODUCTION “Cracks in the Foundation” refers to the rickety parts of the societal fabric that have been under scrutiny by the ongoing investigative efforts of the LFM Home Office Of Pestilential and Legal Affairs (HOOPLA). What you will read today is the second and final segment of a short series dealing with the value of […]

A Slippery Slope

| May 8, 2021

“Modern society is not Nature so much as it is an intellectual construct loosely based on Nature with the sharp edges rounded off for a price. Its inhabitants, though, are demonstrably resistant to domestication, their brains and instincts, though slowed through disuse, little different from their cave dwelling ancestors for whom choice of response to […]

Hunter’s Truth

| April 7, 2021

Hunter’s Truth By LFM No sunset on a dirty gun, Nor blade that’s less than keen. See to your Horse and Dog my boy, Before your boots are clean. By night array your clothes and arms So dark won’t hide their place, Ere comes the call for girding up And joining in the chase! Strike […]

Pro Tip: A New Year is Not a Chance for a Fresh Start

| January 1, 2021

If I were to sum up application of my billable skills in one easy to digest term, it would be “professional troubleshooter”. In general, this means Mrs. LFM and I solve the problems of other people for a living. What typically motivates someone to pick up their phone and dial us, or equally as common […]

A Long Winter’s Night — 2020 Edition Day 6: Christmas at Sea

| December 26, 2020

On this date last year I treated you to a Christmas ghost story, The Shepherd,  written by Frederick Forsyth as a Christmas gift for his wife, Carrie. “‘The Shepherd’ is set on the Christmas Eve of 1957, at which time I would have been eight months plus a day upon the Earth, snug as a […]

A Long Winter’s Night — 2020 Edition Day 4: The Gift of Choice

| December 24, 2020

My message for this Christmas Eve comes from the perspective of my 17 years as a police and fire dispatcher, taking the reports and facilitating the arrests of belligerent half wits who can’t stand the sight of each other at any other time, but who annually, and if temporarily experiencing the convenience of being out […]