Large Fierce Mammal

This poem was inspired by actual events. I was there when it all came to pass.

A Christmas Announcement

By LFM

Once upon a time I knew
A little girl with trouble.
Instead of coming out her bum
Her farts would form a bubble.

The bubble would get stuck inside,
And really hurt a lot,
Regardless of how hard she squeezed
Or lingered on the pot.

The Doctor gave her pills to take,
But so there was no doubt,
He told her to tell Mummy
Every time some gas came out.

Everything was working,
And she did as Doctor said.
No matter what the time of day,
If up, or in her bed.

Then along came Christmas time,
And with it concert day.
She was the cutest little elf
In pre-school’s Christmas play.

Of twenty tots upon that stage,
Each parent saw but one
Who danced in perfect rhythm
‘Til “O Tannenbaum” was done.

And as the last chord faded out,
But ere the clapping started,
A cheerful little voice rang out with,
“MUMMY! I JUST FARTED!”