St. Patrick and All That
Posted By Randy on March 17, 2010
It’s been said that God invented whisky so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world. So far it’s worked.
I’ve always appreciated a good toast, tastefully delivered, no matter how ribald the content, but the Irish are an odd people. Their toasts are full of statements like, “May you die in Ireland”, which for most nationalities would be a good reason to stay the hell out of there, but for them reflects on the rough history known by many of their countrymen and women, far away from the Old Sod.
The Irish are like Newfoundlanders in a couple of respects; first, it’s hard to find one you don’t instantly like; and second, all you need is one to complete a party.
So here are a few toasts delivered early enough for you to learn them before you embark on your St. Patrick’s Day revelries. Enjoy, and don’t bloody embarrass me by getting too drunk to get them right!
My all time favourite for many occasions:
May those that love us love us, and those who don’t love us may God turn their hearts, and if He won’t turn their hearts may He at least turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limping.
I first heard this next one on the “Mead” episode of “The Thirsty Traveller” on the Food Channel. While not Irish in origin, it works in any encounter involving alcohol, and what’s not Irish about that? It’s best delivered all in one breath:
Here’s to the health of your blood, here’s to the blood of your health. If your blood is not healthy, your health must be bloody, so here’s to your bloody good health!
Anyone will appreciate this toast. Raise your glass to the honoured recipient and say, with a cock o’ th’ head:
To your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
Now be off with you. May you all get what you want, and not what you deserve.
"May you all get what you want, and not what you deserve."
Love this one.
Come for the wit, stay for the music! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWRFY71jnWI