Large Fierce Mammal

As unrepentant carnivores, Mrs. Large Fierce Mammal and I have small tolerance for those among the Great Unwashed who see nothing wrong with eating meat while at the same time idiotically attempting to expunge their “sin” by repeatedly reminding everyone in earshot of how bad or guilty they feel about it. We have the utmost respect for anyone who makes the choice to go vegetarian or vegan, provided that they have done so for reasons they honestly believe to be sound, that aren’t motivated by a need to follow trends, and extend in turn the same degree of respect in our direction while they watch us eagerly savage our leg of lamb. Word of advice: all carnivores can, do, and will bite if provoked, particularly when feeding.

I have personally met a woman, parent of an elementary school aged daughter, who disclosed to me that she fed her child meat in the interests of good nutrition, while at the same time hiding its dark origins from her. She thought it was fine to encourage her daughter in the belief that meat was something made at the grocery store, and then packaged on white foam trays; all to protect her from the evil reality governing most life on this planet – that for one thing to live, something else must die. In addition to all this bullshit about farm raised meat we have the furor over hunting. It isn’t necessary to look far before finding someone who will buy farm raised meat at the grocery store while condemning the practice of hunting for food as barbaric. At least in these parts, this attitude is most often directed at the hunting of deer that are seen as cute, beautiful, peaceful forest creatures intended by God to be enjoyed rather than killed. Bullshit. The deer is a herbivore that exists in Nature as part of an ecosystem. Among the biological imperatives that govern its existence are two biggies:

1. Reproduce with the most prime specimens of your kind that you can find; and
2. Be aware that you and yours are not at the top of the food chain.

Best efforts to accomplish item 1 will not always result in offspring that are fit to survive long enough to pass their weakness on to future generations. Good news though. They are the ones closest to the grim realities of item 2; specifically, if you aren’t at the top of the food chain, there is something in your environment that can and will kill and eat you if you aren’t vigilant, fast, strong, or lucky enough. So contrary to non-hunters who like to claim that the “poor deer” is no match for the human hunter with his rifle, the fact is that the hunter is pitting himself against a quarry that evolution has imbued with an absolute oneness with its place in the scheme of things. It lives its life not in the expectation of being hunted, but in the absolute certainty that it is being hunted at every moment. This is a far cry from the mass production farm cattle that live their lives viewing people as a source of food and care, only one day to find themselves herded onto trucks or train cars to arrive at a place that smells of fear and death. However humane the method of killing, the animal is still killed. As a predator I have no moral objection to swift, humane slaughter, but killing a large animal is not pretty, and regardless of the method used, carries a violence in its essence that will shake the weak minded. So tell me now; is it nobler to eat the meat you had the balls to kill with your own hands or to essentially take out a contract on some animal you’ve never personally engaged by having someone else do the killing for you so you can persist in posturing that you have personally evolved beyond all that? Buy meat at the market, but do it with your eyes open, and take unflinching responsibility for being the animal that you are.

The absolute and, without reservation best food and cooking show on television at the moment is Chef Gordon Ramsay‘s The F Word. Foul mouthed, and with a face like a boot, Ramsay is an incredible talent with a professional drive that at times approaches being a force of nature. Mrs. LFM has come to regard him as hot in the extreme, an opinion I’m inclined to share, attracted as I am by capable passionate people.

Among other entertaining segments, the show never fails to educate in the realities of food acquisition, whether it be hunting deer, raising lambs for slaughter; following them from birth, through raising, to slaughter, and ultimately to the plate in Ramsay’s F Word Restaurant; to scuba diving for king crab. A father of four young children; Megan, twins Jack and Holly, and Matilda; segments illustrate his efforts to bring them up with an intimate knowledge of where food comes from by doing such things as intimately involving them in raising turkeys for Christmas dinner. This is a show that comes highly recommended with complete endorsement from the Large Fierce Mammals.

But it’s not all education. I’ll close today’s post with a segment of The F Word featuring British journalist James May that has to be our all time favourite to date. No controversy. Just fucking hilarious. If you don’t follow the show, get off your ass and do it.

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